Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car
(A nice Reliant automobile)
If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

I'm always joking about winning the lottery.  It all started with a boss who used to say things like, "Well, I want to make sure you have procedures for everything you do in case you get hit by a bus."  Hit by a bus?  I would always say back, "Um, couldn't I leave under happy circumstances like, say, winning the lottery?"

After that, whenever I'm trying to cover all of my bases, I always toss in a "... when I win the lottery."  (I keep trying to foist my current duties off on a new co-worker whenever I think about winning the lottery but he insists he's coming with me if I win the lottery and quit.)

But, like the saying goes, "You have to play to win."  And, alas, I don't play.  At least not often enough to even give the odds a fighting chance.

Lately, however, the urgency and intensity of wanting to win has increased.  I like my job.  Most days.  I like my co-workers.  I know my sh*t and my job is fairly easy. Most days, to be honest, I'm pretty bored and watch the clock.  (Unless above co-worker is also in the same mind set and we distract each other for awhile with music lyrics, movie quotes and trying to think of songs that Michael Buble could cover without getting his a$$ kicked.)

However, I would love to not have an office job for awhile. OK, sure, I could go work some place that doesn't have an office but let me rephrase the previous statement.  I would love to not have ANY job for awhile.

My list of things I'd do if I won the lottery is long and I shall indulge some of the not so TMI things here.

Why am I indulging?  Well, I bought a ticket for tonight's $76 million drawing and for tomorrow's $100+ million drawing.  I'm mentally willing myself to win one or both of them. 

So, if I win big, here are some of the things I'd do:

Buy a nice beach house some place, with private beach access, lots of space for visitors, an outdoor kitchen/entertaining space and a huge wall of windows in the master bedroom that faces the ocean so that I can lie in bed and watch the waves.  (I also want black out curtains installed so that when I don't want to be awakened by the bright glare of sunlight, I can close the shades.)

Buy a nice farmhouse or other type house out in the middle of nowhere, where I could rescue animals, have a greenhouse to grow plants and veggies all year, have a garden in the summer and sort of tune out when I'm tired of living the "entertaining beach life."   A place where my kids (if I had kids) could ride bikes, climb trees, get dirty and enjoy being kids.

Hire someone to make breakfast for me.  I wasn't kidding when I "posted" about that one on Facebook.  I can do all of the other cooking, but breakfast is the one meal I want to have waiting for me when I wake up in the morning.  I want to be a coffee commercial, where I roll over to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and scrambled eggs... and maybe pancakes with syrup.  I don't drink coffee so I hope my personal chef does.  I just like the idea of waking up to it.

Buy my parents a house and move them into said house, with the stipulation that they do not bring any of the crap from their current house with them and that they do not argue or fight me about the housekeeping service I plan on hiring to clean their new house once a week to make sure the house is kept in good condition. (See my post about "A place for everything...")

Hire someone to go through all of the crap at my parents' house, our old mobile home next door and all of the various overflowing out-buildings, storage containers and sheds on the property to try to salvage anything that has value and worth and then trash everything else.

Set up a college fund for my nephews.  (And hire a tutor to help them bring up their grades so that they can go to college.  Seriously, I think sometimes I'm adopted.  One of my nephews had to repeat the 2nd grade.  The 2nd grade!!!  It isn't even "hard" yet so I'm scared of what 4th and 5th grade are going to do to him.)

Give my brother some money to blow.  I'd like to think he'd be responsible with it, but I know he won't be.

Start a "make your own soap" business similar to all of those "make your own pottery" places.  I'd get it started and then hire people to staff it and run it and be one of those cool owners who pops in on occasion to help out, bring breakfast for everyone, bring souvenirs from my travels...  I always imagine myself in a colorful caftan made by the natives of some tropical place I've visited.

Hire a personal trainer and nutritionist to help me reverse bad habits and kick my butt into shape.

Hire a animal nanny to take care of Abby (and any other pets) when I travel.

Travel, travel, travel.  A long time ago, I set the personal goal to see one place/city for each letter of the alphabet.  I have about 13 letters to go.  Then, I want to hire someone to drive me in an RV (I hate driving!) from the northern tip of the US to the southern tip of the US, on each coast.  Then, I want to hire someone to drive me in an RV (because I'll still hate driving) from the east coast to the west coast. Then, you guessed it, hire someone to drive me in an RV straight down the middle of the country, ending up on the gulf coast of Texas.  I also want to take cruises.  I also want to go to each of the continents.  

After I'm done traveling for awhile, I figure I'll have met someone by then who loves me for me and who shares similar interests and sarcasm and will be ready to settle down, so it'll be a Vegas wedding or a beach wedding.  (I do have that private beach access.)

Ahhhh, isn't it fun to daydream?

I've been rubbing my belly (like Buddha's - for good luck) with the lottery tickets so I really hope that I can call off work on Monday because I'm going to Richmond to cash in my tickets and start the rest of my life.

I'll let you know when I'm accepting applications for personal chef, personal trainer, nutritionist, housekeeper, de-clutterer, pet nanny, RV driver, tutor, crafty employees, spouse and children.  

What would you do with a million dollars?