Originally posted 07/05/2005 7:33pm
I just saw a commercial for a movie about a woman in her 30s who meets men via an internet personal ad. I also saw in TV GUIDE a blurb about a reality show about women meeting men on line. Hmmm.... Maybe I'm NOT the only one who has stories to tell.
For a different twist, the following story involves no internet personal ad.
When I moved into my apartment a little over 7 years ago, I made friends with the property manager and told her that she had to make sure that any eligible cute men that moved in were to be brought to my attention immediately. She said that she got first dibs but that any that she didn't want were all mine. Hmmm... it sounded nice in theory.
A couple of months later, I was awakened by the sound of sirens. I looked out my bedroom window and standing on the sidewalk in front of the apartment directly across from me was a vision to behold. A tall, athletically-built man with dark hair, wide-shoulders, narrow hips and an attractive face stood there in nothing but a white towel! Good Morning! Standing beside him was the property manager. Standing beside her were two men in firemen uniforms. Parked off to the side was a fire truck.
I quickly got dressed and went downstairs. By the time I got there, hunky neighbor guy had gone back inside and the property manager was talking to the firemen who were loading up their gear. I waved at her from my front step. She waved back. As soon as the firemen were gone, she came over to my apartment. I said, "Hey, you have been holding out on me!" She laughed and informed me that my new neighbor had just moved in and promptly caught his stove on fire. "And he just happened to be walking around in a towel?" I joked. She laughed and said that she didn't know all of the details. She said that luckily there was no major damage except to the stove. I asked her if she knew anything else about the neighbor and she told me his first name and that he was in construction.
So, the obsession began. "B" (my neighbor) had a thing for keeping all of his blinds up and walking around his apartment wearing very little clothing. I would sit in my living room with the lights down and the blinds open "a little" so that I could enjoy the occasional show. I began to orchestrate meetings. I would try to leave at the same time as he or hope to be pulling in at the same time at night. He was an early riser. I am not a morning person. Yet, I would get up early and hope that I could pull off a "hey, welcome to the neighborhood" while we conveniently left for work at the same time. It never happened, tho. So, then I talked a couple of girlfriends into a nightly post-work walk around my apartment complex. I always wore a bright pink t-shirt so that I would stand out. We must have walked miles and miles around that place and not once did we ever encounter him. I knew he was in there. I'd see him come home. His blinds were up. The lights were on. "Notice me!" I wanted to shout.
Then, the borderline stalking started. I would get braver each day and walk closer to his apartment. I even considered having a friend send mail to me at his address so that he would have to bring me my mail. One night, my friend H was over and we were sitting on my front step talking and I voiced out loud that I wondered what the shadowy object in B's living room was. Since "B" hadn't come home yet and wasn't due for another 15 or 20 minutes, I got up and walked across the way to his apartment. Just as I was getting ready to look in it, H started yelling my name. I looked up and there was "B" driving down the driveway. Oh crap! So, I quickly darted to the side of the building and and then back to my side of the driveway. When I got back to H, I said, "Did you see a rabbit run by?" (It was the best lie I could come up with.) B got out of his truck and gave me a peculiar look and went inside his apartment.
After that, I quit being so obsessively "curious" because the close-call made me sick to my stomach. I did not want to get hauled off to jail for stalking. So, I did the next best thing-- I placed an "I SAW YOU" ad in a local newspaper.
What is that? you ask. Well, there are these ads in one of the free weekly entertainment newspapers where people put in "Hey, cute girl wearing a green sweater at Starbucks on Sunday. I was the guy who spilled creamer. Wanna get together?" type ads under the "I SAW YOU" column.
We were having an apartment-wide pool party in a few weeks so I put an ad that said "Hey neighbor with red truck. Girl in pink shirt thinks you're cute. Come to the pool party and let's talk." Yeah. Dumb. Bold. Crazy. But, I did it.
Then, regretted it. I even tried to take the ad out once I actually saw it in print. The personals manager said that it would run for 2 weeks and then she'd be able to remove it. I stopped my nightly walk. I stopped wearing the pink t-shirt. I even considered not going to the pool party. But, I talked a couple friends into going with me so I'd have "courage" to go.
"B" never showed and I was relieved. Disappointed, too, but mostly relieved. What do you say to someone after you do something like that? What if you do hook up and it's a disaster? Do you move? Do you pretend it didn't happen?
A few weeks later, anything that was left of my curiosity was squashed like a bug on a biker's helmet. "B" brought home a guest. A special guest. The blinds came down for the first time in months, but I knew what was going on. The property manager called me a few days later and confirmed my suspicions. She told me that B was moving out to share a place with his love-interest.
Turns out that no matter what color shirt I had worn or how many times I walked by B's apartment, he never would have noticed me. At least not in a romantic way.
I just wasn't his "type", if you know what I mean --- not that there's anything wrong with that.
No comments:
Post a Comment