Before I joined blogger, I had a blog on a website called tv.com which was linked to gamespot.com. My tv.com blog is long gone but the gamespot blog is still there.
If you'd like to see what life was like for me from 2005 - 2009, this is the place to go.
It's actually quite interesting to read my growth from then until 2009.
http://www.gamespot.com/users/booksnbeach4me/blog
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
Brains
I had this super weird dream last night that I was on an investigative team sent to find out why people were still turning into zombies long after the zombie plague had been taken care of and all of the zombies had been killed.
It was like a sci fi movie. My team and I went into this large bunker - very military like - and there were metal storage containers stacked on top of each other. I opened one and inside were cardboard boxes with names written on the boxes. I opened a few boxes and there were dead/killed zombies inside the boxes.
I happened to notice a lot of flies and maggots festering in the cardboard and speculated to my partner that maybe the flies were spreading the zombie virus. He said it was worth looking into so we did a test on the flies and sure enough, they were landing on the zombies and then landing on live people and infecting them with the zombie virus.
We then had to take on the flies, which seemed almost impossible to kill with sprays and insecticides. So I suggested that we crush their heads as if they were little zombies themselves... and it worked.
It was like a sci fi movie. My team and I went into this large bunker - very military like - and there were metal storage containers stacked on top of each other. I opened one and inside were cardboard boxes with names written on the boxes. I opened a few boxes and there were dead/killed zombies inside the boxes.
I happened to notice a lot of flies and maggots festering in the cardboard and speculated to my partner that maybe the flies were spreading the zombie virus. He said it was worth looking into so we did a test on the flies and sure enough, they were landing on the zombies and then landing on live people and infecting them with the zombie virus.
We then had to take on the flies, which seemed almost impossible to kill with sprays and insecticides. So I suggested that we crush their heads as if they were little zombies themselves... and it worked.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Weird Dreams
Blog # 2 today.
No song lyrics for this one.
Over the past few weeks, I've been having an increase in my dreaming and my dreams have been pretty wild. Some include people I know. Some don't.
Last weekend, I had a dream that I lived in a new condo and every time I used the washing machine (which was on the first floor), water would pour out of the light fixture in my kitchen (which was also on the first floor). I called a male friend and told him to come over and fix it. He showed up and I was running around in a Snoopy beach towel, all frustrated because I just wanted to have the mess taken care of. He kept trying to make conversation with me while tinkering with pipes and connectors to my washing machine. I was getting irritated and told him to just get it fixed pronto because I needed to get dressed for a bachelor auction. He told me that I needed to stop wasting time chasing strangers and look at what was right under my nose. I made a face at him and then woke up.
Then, the night before last, I had a dream that I showed up for work at this very modern office space. It was not the company I currently work for. The layout was very open and the office furniture and cubicles all looked new and fancy. Lots of feng shui vibe going on. It was like the company took great pains and a lot of money to encourage a peaceful and creative spirit. My cubicle had high and low walls and the desk was sort of curved, as if to promote ergonomics. My back wall was high and had a frosty blue glass panel and small ledge that I could put knick knacks on. My computer was sleek and stylish. I had colorful gadgets and office supplies on my desk. Sitting in the middle of my desk was a vase with a single hot pink gerbera daisy in it. There was a folded note that said, "Someone as sweet as you deserves a Valentine." No name was on the card but the handwriting was male. I smiled and looked around but the office was still empty - like I was the first one to arrive. I was wearing a pretty dress that had boat neck, fitted bodice and flowy A-line skirt that came to my knees. The dress was white/off white and had a swirly black print on it. I was wearing a short pink cardigan with the dress. I felt feminine and pretty. I was wearing a pink ribbon in my hair as a headband. I felt very old-fashioned in a very modern world. I looked at my digital calendar on my desk and it was Feb 14. Then, I woke up.
Last night, I had several dreams.
In one, I dreamt that I bought a kit online to build my own spaceship. It was made of this superlight space-travel safe material that was bright yellow. Big Bird yellow. The space ship looked like a really large toxic waste trash can. I was in space, looking out the window, wearing normal clothing, no zero gravity or anything, looking down on the world and thinking how cool it was that I was in space. Then, I noticed a readout that said, “Time to impact” and it had a timeframe. Then, next to it was a readout “Oxygen remaining” and had a timeframe. The amount of oxygen time was two minutes less than the time to impact. I realized I was going to be without oxygen for at least two minutes and this freaked me out so I started to panic, thinking of how I could escape without killing myself. I found a saw and notched out an escape hatch in the wall and then just as the oxygen ran out, I kicked out the hatch and flew from the space ship and landed on a sandy beach. Bounced on it like a cartoon character. No injuries. The space ship continued on without me. Before I hurled myself out the hatch, I grabbed my phone and texted (obviously you can text from space) all of my friends: “In case I don’t make, I love you.” Very vague. I went around telling everyone about my space ship adventure and no one would believe me. I described it, my hatch, etc and people would laugh at me. Then, one of my male friends was there and asked me what the hell my text meant and said that he thought I was going to kill myself and it freaked him out. I told him about the spaceship and he said, “Let’s go find it”. So, we got into a jeep and drove down the beach and there was the space ship, sticking up out of the sand, with all of these people and reporters standing around. I said, “See!!” and then I woke up!
No song lyrics for this one.
Over the past few weeks, I've been having an increase in my dreaming and my dreams have been pretty wild. Some include people I know. Some don't.
Last weekend, I had a dream that I lived in a new condo and every time I used the washing machine (which was on the first floor), water would pour out of the light fixture in my kitchen (which was also on the first floor). I called a male friend and told him to come over and fix it. He showed up and I was running around in a Snoopy beach towel, all frustrated because I just wanted to have the mess taken care of. He kept trying to make conversation with me while tinkering with pipes and connectors to my washing machine. I was getting irritated and told him to just get it fixed pronto because I needed to get dressed for a bachelor auction. He told me that I needed to stop wasting time chasing strangers and look at what was right under my nose. I made a face at him and then woke up.
Then, the night before last, I had a dream that I showed up for work at this very modern office space. It was not the company I currently work for. The layout was very open and the office furniture and cubicles all looked new and fancy. Lots of feng shui vibe going on. It was like the company took great pains and a lot of money to encourage a peaceful and creative spirit. My cubicle had high and low walls and the desk was sort of curved, as if to promote ergonomics. My back wall was high and had a frosty blue glass panel and small ledge that I could put knick knacks on. My computer was sleek and stylish. I had colorful gadgets and office supplies on my desk. Sitting in the middle of my desk was a vase with a single hot pink gerbera daisy in it. There was a folded note that said, "Someone as sweet as you deserves a Valentine." No name was on the card but the handwriting was male. I smiled and looked around but the office was still empty - like I was the first one to arrive. I was wearing a pretty dress that had boat neck, fitted bodice and flowy A-line skirt that came to my knees. The dress was white/off white and had a swirly black print on it. I was wearing a short pink cardigan with the dress. I felt feminine and pretty. I was wearing a pink ribbon in my hair as a headband. I felt very old-fashioned in a very modern world. I looked at my digital calendar on my desk and it was Feb 14. Then, I woke up.
Last night, I had several dreams.
In one, I dreamt that I bought a kit online to build my own spaceship. It was made of this superlight space-travel safe material that was bright yellow. Big Bird yellow. The space ship looked like a really large toxic waste trash can. I was in space, looking out the window, wearing normal clothing, no zero gravity or anything, looking down on the world and thinking how cool it was that I was in space. Then, I noticed a readout that said, “Time to impact” and it had a timeframe. Then, next to it was a readout “Oxygen remaining” and had a timeframe. The amount of oxygen time was two minutes less than the time to impact. I realized I was going to be without oxygen for at least two minutes and this freaked me out so I started to panic, thinking of how I could escape without killing myself. I found a saw and notched out an escape hatch in the wall and then just as the oxygen ran out, I kicked out the hatch and flew from the space ship and landed on a sandy beach. Bounced on it like a cartoon character. No injuries. The space ship continued on without me. Before I hurled myself out the hatch, I grabbed my phone and texted (obviously you can text from space) all of my friends: “In case I don’t make, I love you.” Very vague. I went around telling everyone about my space ship adventure and no one would believe me. I described it, my hatch, etc and people would laugh at me. Then, one of my male friends was there and asked me what the hell my text meant and said that he thought I was going to kill myself and it freaked him out. I told him about the spaceship and he said, “Let’s go find it”. So, we got into a jeep and drove down the beach and there was the space ship, sticking up out of the sand, with all of these people and reporters standing around. I said, “See!!” and then I woke up!
Then, I had one where I had a talk show like the “Dog Whisperer”
and women would bring their boyfriends to me and I would stand near them and
then tell them if the guy was “gay” or “not gay”. It was like a talk
show/reality show. Just me sniffing these men’s necks and making a
decision about their sexuality. Then, the guys who were gay, I kept to
the side to be friends. They were happy and kept chattering about how
much fun we were going to have. The women were mad at me but I didn’t
care. Maybe that’s my calling. My purpose is not to find love for myself,
but to help men find themselves and know that I will not be lonely because I
will be surrounded by men who like me as I am.
Then, I had a dream that my company sent a bunch of us
on some sort of expedition to this village that had tons of market places and
shops to “spread the word and bring back new business”. I was there with an odd assortment of people from my life and work. I
kept wanting to buy things instead of finding new clients. But, I didn’t
want the things for me, I wanted them for other people. The guy who runs the mailroom at work
pulled me aside and told me that I cannot keep trying to give people what I
think they want and told me people want me not my things. Then, I woke up.
Then, I also had a dream that I was at the grocery store and I saw one of my male friends there with another man and they looked and acted like a couple. I have suspected that the male might be gay but I can't confirm it and he won't confirm it. Not that it matters. But, they were laughing and joking and being silly together. They didn't see me. My male friend said to the other guy, "I wish my friend Bev was here. She gets along really well with gay men. She'd love you!" or something like that. Then, I woke up.
Soooo --- love, romance, gay men, world travel, space travel, friendship, food.... all with meanings if I spend more time analyzing them.
Collide
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find you and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find you and I collide
I was playing a mindless game of SongPop on Facebook earlier and this song came up in Love Songs. I guessed it in 1.3 seconds. I love the song Collide by Howie Day. I was looking at the date of the song and it said 2003. I can't believe the song is 10 years old. That just doesn't seem like it's right. Every time I hear the song, it feels like the first time I've heard it and I immediately find myself singing along with it, top of my lungs. I think it is just one of those songs for me that will be in the soundtrack of my life.
Now, I know -- as far as songs go, there are better songs. There are more meaningful songs. But this song... it digs into my soul.
If you really listen to it... if you read the lyrics... to me, it sounds like the song is about two people who have a push-pull relationship. Love-hate. Whatever you want to call it. They seem like opposites yet they keep coming back together. That one short song summarizes just about every romantic relationship I've ever had (sans happy ending.) Fear, interest, hope, dismay, push, pull, love, hate. It's all there. A romance novel set to music. With a semi-happy ending. The other party finally realizes what the first party knew all along. They were meant to come together. To collide. My favorite part of the song, though, is the opening verse.
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you, yeah
I often wake up on the weekend, alone, all snuggly in bed and wonder what it would be like to roll over and see the sunlight reflect off of the face or hair or shoulder of someone lying beside me. Someone other than Abby. Someone who is the love of my life and with whom I don't mind being tangled - physically and emotionally. Someone with whom I collide.
Maybe this year. No. Definitely this year.
This is not going to be a blog about loving and losing. I was just listening to this song and thought, "Man, I want to tell people why I like this song" and so I wrote a blog. If I ever get married, this song will be at my wedding.
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find you and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find you and I collide
I was playing a mindless game of SongPop on Facebook earlier and this song came up in Love Songs. I guessed it in 1.3 seconds. I love the song Collide by Howie Day. I was looking at the date of the song and it said 2003. I can't believe the song is 10 years old. That just doesn't seem like it's right. Every time I hear the song, it feels like the first time I've heard it and I immediately find myself singing along with it, top of my lungs. I think it is just one of those songs for me that will be in the soundtrack of my life.
Now, I know -- as far as songs go, there are better songs. There are more meaningful songs. But this song... it digs into my soul.
If you really listen to it... if you read the lyrics... to me, it sounds like the song is about two people who have a push-pull relationship. Love-hate. Whatever you want to call it. They seem like opposites yet they keep coming back together. That one short song summarizes just about every romantic relationship I've ever had (sans happy ending.) Fear, interest, hope, dismay, push, pull, love, hate. It's all there. A romance novel set to music. With a semi-happy ending. The other party finally realizes what the first party knew all along. They were meant to come together. To collide. My favorite part of the song, though, is the opening verse.
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you, yeah
I often wake up on the weekend, alone, all snuggly in bed and wonder what it would be like to roll over and see the sunlight reflect off of the face or hair or shoulder of someone lying beside me. Someone other than Abby. Someone who is the love of my life and with whom I don't mind being tangled - physically and emotionally. Someone with whom I collide.
Maybe this year. No. Definitely this year.
This is not going to be a blog about loving and losing. I was just listening to this song and thought, "Man, I want to tell people why I like this song" and so I wrote a blog. If I ever get married, this song will be at my wedding.
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