As with most things in my life, I had the best of intentions with this blog but to be honest, the combination of "I fucking hate my job" depression and the tedious toll of my part time work from home job, I have had very little energy, desire and time to really truly focus on improving myself.
Right now, my part time job doesn't have enough "work" for everyone so I log in and feel like a seagull scavenging for bread crumbs. I can't bill for the hours I "wait" on work so I can be logged in for three-four hours and only have a good solid thirty minutes of work. I don't have the time or patience for it. So, I log in and if I read any complaining in the chat room about lack of work, I log out. I still have a minimum of 15 hours per week though so I keep expecting the email at any point now telling me I've been kicked off of the project because I only average 10-12 hours per week of actual work. The project manager keeps sending these "hang in there" emails and hints that beginning in August, we'll have more work than we can handle. Shit, I need the money now.
Abby is fat. She weighs 12 lbs. After having a cat go 6 months eating hardly anything, it's a pleasure to have a cat that wants to eat. So I feed her. If she tries to bite me, I feed her. If she is trying to claw me, I feed her. So, now I have to stop feeding her so much... and play with her more.
I got my first paycheck from my part time job a few weeks ago and had the time of my life blowing it. I got a pedicure, haircut, bought a new pair of sandals, stocked the fridge with some of my favorite foods, filled my truck's fuel tank all the way instead of with "enough" to get by, went to Big Lots and bought stuff I don't really need but wanted anyway, bought some lottery tickets, got some food for a cookout with some friends, bought a book, downloaded some music.... even rented some movies. It was only $300 but it felt like a million after scrimping and saving for months.
I also refinanced my truck and got a debt consolidation loan. I paid off and closed my credit cards. Now I have one payment each month, starting in August for my car and credit card balances... and it's not falling at the same time as my rent, like my car and credit card payments did before.
So that's my life as of now.
