Unfriended

I unfriended all of my family members on Facebook today.

When my nephews friended me last summer, I had a hunch it would not be a good thing. They were 8 and 9 at the time. What do 8 and 9 years olds know about proper netiquette?

They spammed me (and several of my friends) on a regular basis with game requests, misplaced "tags" and random practically incoherent single word posts here and there. (Let's hear it for the Pennsylvania public education system.)

Then, in December, one of my cousins whom I haven't seen since childhood found me. Then, another. Then, one of my dad's sisters.

The straw that broke the camel's back came on Friday morning when I got a friend request from "OLDBROKENFAT DARNELL". My dad.

A few days prior, I had called my dad to wish him a happy birthday and he had told me then he was on Facebook. I pretended not to hear. Then, he put my mom on the phone and she proceeded to tell me about all of the things I had posted on my PRIVATE Facebook page that my Aunt Cassie had told her about.

It was then I realized I did not want my family having access to my witty remarks, inane comments and occasional inappropriate rant.

I was lamenting to a co-worker about it on Friday morning and he suggested I block them. So, I sent them all a message telling them I was closing down my Facebook page and then unfriended them and then blocked them.

There are just some things I want to keep private. My co-worker suggested that I post something really out-there right before unfriending them so that they'd have something juicy to speculate about.

"The test came back positive."

Alas, I forgot to do the post. But, now I feel more free to be me on my Facebook page.

When I'm ready to change my relationship status, I'll let them know the old-fashioned way. I'll send a birth announcement.