If I Could Turn Back Time...

Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.

It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

I often joke about wanting to go back a decade or two and having a "do-over", especially if I could take all of the knowledge and experience I've acquired over the years with me.

This morning, as I sat in salon having my nails done, my mind began to wander.  The Karate Kid (the new one) was on the television and I thought back to the "original" and how long ago it seemed that we were all giggling and quoting "Wax on, Wax off."

Just like everyone else, I've had some really good times in my life (and some not so good times.)

I truly believe everything happens for a reason and that people and events are put in our lives to test us, develop us, and teach us.

I keep thinking back to college.  I was originally a communications major, with the intent of becoming a world-traveling journalist. Then, I took an elementary education class and changed my major.  Every so often, I think to myself that I wish I had stayed the course for journalism.

However, if I had not changed my major, I would not have stayed in Marietta after graduation and would not have become a child care consultant.  If I had not become a child care consultant, I would have missed out on making some wonderful friends and traveling to places like Philadelphia and San Francisco.  If I had not stayed in Marietta, where there was nothing to do past 5:00, I would not have turned to the internet looking for friends.

If I had not turned to the internet looking for friends, I would have missed out on meeting several people who are still very close friends today.  I would not have gotten to go to New York City (twice).  I would not have gotten to put my toes in the Pacific Ocean for the first time and fall in love with Southern California.  I would not have gotten to go to Disneyland and Beverly Hills. I would not have gotten to go to Des Moines for a wedding and then to see the part of Iowa where the movie The Bridges of Madison County was filmed.  I would not have gotten to be part of a cyber showering experience, weekly trivia games, and a very interesting email exchange with a very intelligent and interesting lawyer in Pennsylvania.  I would not have gotten my forehead licked and I probably never would have been invited to visit the "treasure trail".  (See earlier blogs for more on that.) 

If I hadn't stayed in Marietta, I probably would not have found out that my first serious love interest, Ron, died in September 1996 from leukemia. Discovering this, I had a mini breakdown that made me re-evaluate my life, which resulted in me quitting a decent job and moving three hours away to Columbus to "start living".

If I had not moved to Columbus, I never would have gone to work at an insurance company where I met a few of my closest friends, who are still friends to this day.  I would not have left the insurance company to work at mortgage company where I made several wonderful friends and got to fine-tune my training and writing skills.  I probably wouldn't have gotten to go to Las Vegas (twice).  I wouldn't have joined weight watchers and the gym.  I wouldn't have learned what it feels like to shrink in size and to do the elliptical for 30 minutes without giving up.  

If I hadn't moved to Columbus, I wouldn't have met someone who made me question myself, my life path and seek to move away to start fresh.  I wouldn't have moved to Virginia Beach.

If I hadn't moved to Virginia Beach, I wouldn't have met some of the people I've met, adopted Abby and gotten to put my toes in the Atlantic Ocean and Chesapeake Bay on several occasions.  I would not have discovered my love for boats and being outside.  I probably wouldn't have gotten to go to Atlantic City (twice), the Outer Banks, the Eastern Shore and several other local points of interest.  

So, all in all, I'm happy with the path life has given me so far.   Although there were blips along the way -- broken hearts, bad bosses, financial strain, and other assorted things that come with life, I think I'll keep this life the way it is. For now.

The only thing I would change, if I could go back, is that on a cold morning in December 2001, when I felt something "pop" in my back, I wish I had gone to the ER or doctor sooner.  I didn't and I ended up later finding out I had ruptured a disk in my back and by ignoring it for so long, I did permanent damage to some nerves which cause me to have nerve damage in my left leg.  I can't run, hop, skip, dance or do anything that requires the use of the left leg as it permanently feels like it's "dull".   I miss doing silly things like walking fast.. and dancing.  I used to love to dance.  I had rhythm, too. 

But, can't go back.  Can only go forward.