Idle Hands....

I don't need a bed of roses
'Cause roses wither away
All I really need is honesty
From someone with a strong heart
A gentle hand
Who'll take me as I am

About a week ago, I started to get these emails from a dating service that I had messages waiting for me there.  I don't recall signing up for the service.  However, the login at the site is using a password that only I would have set up (I had to get a password reset email just to log in) so I must have done it at some point.  Maybe I sleep-dated. (You know, like sleep-walking.)

Out of curiosity, I decided to check out the website and my alleged "messages".  

I am not a shallow person.  I am not perfect and I know that for me, to know me is to love me.  I don't like people to discard me based on appearances so I don't do that with people I meet.  I am fairly happy with who I am.  Yes, I could lose weight, but that won't change my personality. So, if someone wants to be with me, they have to like my personality.  That probably won't change, even if my waist does.

That said, some of these guys are scary.  Why do men use webcams to take photos for dating sites?  They all look like scary mugshots.  They always tilt their heads back and you can see right up their nostrils.  I saw one guy who looks like Phil Harris (RIP) from Deadliest Catch.

I deleted the first batch of messages.  I had 15.  Not one was from Virginia and several of them were old enough to be my father. I have no desire to date someone's grandfather.  I decided to go ahead and upload a photo of myself and put an actual profile with my "likes and dislikes."

Although, I have no real "type", I do know there are certain things I do and do not find attractive in a man.  So, I put it out there.

So, today, I got another message from the site.

I've been home today.  All day.  With a stomach bug.  I can't stray too far from my bedroom/bathroom but thanks to the technology of a wireless router and laptop, I can sit in bed and play on the internet between bouts of dry heaves and napping. 

As the saying goes, "Idle hands are the devil's playground" (or something like that), so I logged into the website to check my messages.  

I had a message from a guy in North Carolina, not far from here.  No picture.  38, average build, average looks - according to his profile.  Brown hair.  Brown eyes.  Lists reading, cooking, hunting (ugh) and playing pool as hobbies. 

Minus the hunting thing, it's a decent start.  So, I wrote him back.  We've been going back and forth most of the day.  I've been biting the inside of my mouth every time he makes a misspelling or grammatical error, hoping he's just using a smartphone or something and not being careful with his typing.

About an hour ago, I get the following message: "Does it make a difference if I tell you I'm married?"

Seriously?  Hell yeah it makes a difference.  I'm the queen of benefit of the doubt.  (Some call it "head in the sand" syndrome, but....)  So, I thought, "Maybe he's separated, getting divorced or his wife has been missing for years and he's only married on paper?"

Nope.  Married.  Wife and kids live with him.  He's bored.  Looking for someone to have fun with.  (Read: have sex with)  

I wrote him back that I am not looking for the same thing he is.

His response, "YOURE LOSS.  I DONT LIKE FATTIES ANYWAY."

(Shaking head)

I bet his wife thanks her lucky stars every night for him.  

Or maybe she's on the dating site, too, looking for someone.