Miss Independent

Miss independent
Miss self-sufficient
Miss keep your distance, mmmm

Miss unafraid
Miss out of my way
Miss don't let a man interfere, no

Miss on her own
Miss almost grown
Miss never let a man help her off her throne

So, by keeping her heart protected
She'll never, ever feel rejected 

I was talking to a good friend and my good friend has decided that it's time that I stop being single.  She listed all of the things she loves about me and why she thinks I'm a good catch and should not be spending my nights watching tv, working a second job and hanging out with my cat. She's afraid that I will die a sad, lonely old lady, surrounded by cats and romance novels.  I think telling her that I had gone to a sex toy party may have also caused concern.  "You need the real thing," she said.

"I have friends," I said.  She made a sound of disgust.

"I have hobbies," I said. Again, sound of disgust.

"I work a lot," I said.  Disgust.

"I'm old.  I'm set in my ways," I said.  She made another sound of disgust.

"I don't know how to talk to men," I said. Disgust, disgust, disgust.

"You're just making excuses," she said.

So, I asked her, "How the F am I supposed to meet this man you want me to be with so badly?"

"Go out more.  Be yourself," she said. 
"Guys like you as you are.  You just never see it.  You go for the wrong types of guys.  I know he's out there," she said.

Be myself.  I am myself.  I think maybe she should have told me to be less of myself.

The reality is that I think I scare men.  I have the tendency to have a no bullsh*t approach to life.  I don't like to play games.  I usually say what I'm thinking, good and bad. I'm too honest sometimes.  I joke.  I flirt.  I do my own thing. I don't bat my eyes and play the coy thing. I don't wear the sexy clothing.  I am not helpless and needy. There's no mystery. I am pretty damned self-sufficient. I usually end up being the one who does the "chasing" until I get tired and give up, take my toys and go home.

So, needless to say, the only men who ever really seem drawn to me are gay men who like the no bullsh*t thing or straight men who are married or in relationships and know that their wives or significant others won't feel jealous of me.  I also get the guys who like having no bullsh*t female friends because it's safe. I like having male friends, too.  It's safe for me as well. I get to enjoy being with a guy without having to worry about the "ending". (See Looking at Life From the Last Chapter.)

Now, don't get me wrong.  I am not a tough chick who will bust some guy's balls.  I am not heartless and cold.  I clean up nice.  I know my limits and when to ask for help. I have a great sense of humor.  I'm smart.  I like to cook.  I am faithful.  I like to go out and do things.   I wouldn't mind having someone do things for me for once. I don't always have to be the strong one.  I am not immune to affairs of the heart, romance and wooing. I was wooed once.  I enjoyed it. I'd probably enjoy it again.

My friend has a way of getting her own way.   

I don't know if I should be scared ... or excited.