Originally posted 06/12/2005 10:23pm
I was watching the movie ALEX AND EMMA this afternoon. It stars Luke Wilson as a writer who has hit a writer's block and Kate Hudson as the stenographer/temp he has hired to type up his book as he recites it to her. He's making it up as he goes. There's a scene where Kate Hudson's character, Emma, picks up a book, flips to the last few pages of the book and Luke Wilson's character, Alex, is outraged. She makes the statement that if she likes the ending, then she'll like the rest of the book.
As I was watching the exchange, I realize that I do that, too. I never really consciously realized that I do it until she did it and it made me smile.
Whenever I'm in a book store, I have a very methodical way of selecting a book to read. First, I look at the cover. If the cover art isn't appealing, I don't want to pick up the book. Then, I read the blurb on the back. If the blurb holds my attention, then I read the excerpt that most editors put just inside the front cover. If it's a romance, usually this is a snippet from a love scene or the "foreplay" prior to a love scene. Then, if that holds my interest, I flip to the last page of the book. If I like the way the book ends, then I flip back to the first chapter. If I like the way the books ends *and* begins, I buy it. Seems like a lot of work, I know, just to select a book.
It occurs to me that I apply this practice to just about everything I do. I don't live in the moment. I wish I did. There was a time when I did and I miss that. On Fridays, just as the weekend is beginning, I make out my "things to do" list for the weekend, trying to figure out everything I need to do before I go to bed on Sunday night. Instead of just enjoying the fact that I have two full days to do whatever I want, my mind is already focused on 11 pm Sunday night. The clock begins and my weekend suddenly becomes a countdown to that moment.
At the beginning of the month, as soon as I flip that calendar page, I'm already looking at the end of the month and all of the things I need to do, the bills I need to pay, the birthday cards I need to send, the doctor's appointments, the pay days, etc. I don't even get to enjoy the fact that I've been just given another 30 days to get things done. I worry about the "what if" of not getting everything done before "time runs out."
Alas, I also apply this theory to relationships. Whenever I start a new relationship, I start to worry about the end. Will we still be friends? Will we talk to each other? How long will it last? Will there be bitterness? Why did I even bother? Then, when the inevitable happens and the relationship does end, ultimately, I have this feeling of morbid success that I was right... that everything I predicted would happen did happen. Some may call this a self-fulfilling prophecy. Like-- if you tell yourself you're going to succeed, you will and if you tell yourself you're going to fail, you will.
How does one learn to live in the moment? How does one learn to just live day by day? Even as I'm writing this blog entry, I'm thinking about what I can write about tomorrow night or the next night. (sigh)
Another weekend is over. I will not think about Friday. I will not think about Friday. I will not think about Friday. Oh crap! Now I'm thinking about Friday
As I was watching the exchange, I realize that I do that, too. I never really consciously realized that I do it until she did it and it made me smile.
Whenever I'm in a book store, I have a very methodical way of selecting a book to read. First, I look at the cover. If the cover art isn't appealing, I don't want to pick up the book. Then, I read the blurb on the back. If the blurb holds my attention, then I read the excerpt that most editors put just inside the front cover. If it's a romance, usually this is a snippet from a love scene or the "foreplay" prior to a love scene. Then, if that holds my interest, I flip to the last page of the book. If I like the way the book ends, then I flip back to the first chapter. If I like the way the books ends *and* begins, I buy it. Seems like a lot of work, I know, just to select a book.
It occurs to me that I apply this practice to just about everything I do. I don't live in the moment. I wish I did. There was a time when I did and I miss that. On Fridays, just as the weekend is beginning, I make out my "things to do" list for the weekend, trying to figure out everything I need to do before I go to bed on Sunday night. Instead of just enjoying the fact that I have two full days to do whatever I want, my mind is already focused on 11 pm Sunday night. The clock begins and my weekend suddenly becomes a countdown to that moment.
At the beginning of the month, as soon as I flip that calendar page, I'm already looking at the end of the month and all of the things I need to do, the bills I need to pay, the birthday cards I need to send, the doctor's appointments, the pay days, etc. I don't even get to enjoy the fact that I've been just given another 30 days to get things done. I worry about the "what if" of not getting everything done before "time runs out."
Alas, I also apply this theory to relationships. Whenever I start a new relationship, I start to worry about the end. Will we still be friends? Will we talk to each other? How long will it last? Will there be bitterness? Why did I even bother? Then, when the inevitable happens and the relationship does end, ultimately, I have this feeling of morbid success that I was right... that everything I predicted would happen did happen. Some may call this a self-fulfilling prophecy. Like-- if you tell yourself you're going to succeed, you will and if you tell yourself you're going to fail, you will.
How does one learn to live in the moment? How does one learn to just live day by day? Even as I'm writing this blog entry, I'm thinking about what I can write about tomorrow night or the next night. (sigh)
Another weekend is over. I will not think about Friday. I will not think about Friday. I will not think about Friday. Oh crap! Now I'm thinking about Friday
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