You Are My Sunshine

As the sun shines on other people's houses
And not mine,
And the sky paints those clouds in a way
That it takes away the summertime,
Somehow the sun keeps shining upon you,
while I kindly stand by.
If there's a light in everybody,
Send out your ray of sunshine

You're undeniably warm, you're cerulean,
You're perfect in desire.
Won't you hang around
so the sun, it can shine on me,
And the clouds they can roll away,
And the sky can become a possibility?
If there's a light in everybody,
Send out your ray of sunshine.

I had an awesome day yesterday.  10 on a scale of 1-10.  It was much needed after what felt like weeks of drama, disappointments, stress and other various emotions and maladies.  

Jason Mraz is one of the most positive and upbeat artists I've heard in a long long time.  None of his songs are angst-filled or bitter.  He has this knack for injecting positivity and hope into his lyrics.  His "Beautiful Mess Life On Earth" CD/tour is awesome.  AWE SOME.  The lyrics above are from the song he opened the concert with last night.  Click the link to hear it.  Beautiful man.  An inspiration.  I left the concert feeling hopeful and happy. (And the 3 beers I had prior to the concert had nothing to do with it!)

I don't even have all of the right words to describe what made yesterday so great.  Part of it for me was a shift in attitude while driving to the concert. I know it's rare that I struggle for the right words. I'm "all about them words."  Another part was being with friends.  Good friends.  Friends who appreciate me and whom I appreciate.

I've been struggling with some feelings I have been having for a few weeks now.  I haven't really had anyone to talk to about them so they've been bottling up inside of me.  My friend Janelle was along for the ride and I decided to use her as a sounding board for this stuff inside of me.  

As I drove, and the miles flew by, and the words and feelings flew from my lips, I realized that I was heading in the wrong direction with the feelings I thought I was feeling.  Realized I've been wasting time and energy on something that will not end well and that has been leaving me with far too many sleepless nights and headaches.  This is typical of me.  Inside, I knew there was nowhere to go with the feelings, especially when they are not reciprocated, but the "eternal optimist" in me was hoping I could work my magic, spin them into something productive and have a happy ending. 

However, while I was talking, I realized the feelings had more negativity and self-doubt than positivity.  I decided right then and there, with a little help from Jason Mraz's Geek in the Pink lyrics (he does a mean wiki, wiki, wiki, by the way), that I was done with it all.  I was not going to invest any more time and energy chasing something that wasn't going to bode well for me and which was making me feel like I was doing all of the work.

I don't care what you might think about me
You'll get by without me if you want
I could be the one to take you home
Baby we could rock the night alone
If we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
But sugar don't be forgettin' what you already know
I could be the one to turn you on
We could be the talk across the town
Don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
You might regret what you let slip away
like the geek in the pink (do do do...)
I'm the geek in the pink ya'll
geek is the color for fall
i'm the geek in the pink

The song is about a guy who is overlooked by a girl, because he's not her type.  It's his playful "in your face" anthem. :) "You might regret what you let slip away." 

I've been on a roller coaster with someone in the friendship department. We started out okay - mutually interested.  But, then things sort of fizzled out after a couple of months (and this time, not by my choice.) I've been working in over-drive, over-thinking everything and over-analyzing everything, trying to figure out what I did wrong and why I wasn't able to hold the person's interest for longer than 2 months.  Then, I realized the friendship was lop-sided to begin with.  I broke my own rules and invested way more of myself than I usually do, right off the bat, feeling some sort of connection.  Imagined? Fabricated?  Don't know.  I thought there was something there.  Long story short, I realized that this person has not been as invested in me as I have been in them.  They haven't been all that curious about me.  They don't really initiate any conversations.  They don't seem to be interested in anything more than casual acquaintance.  I'm someone they seek out when they are bored or lonely and don't seem to have the time for me any other time even though I've let them know I was open to being a good friend. They just aren't interested in more.  

It's a shame because I sensed a similar mind-set and potential for good friendship based on interests and personalities.  I'm open to friendship with the person, but I'm not going to be the one doing all of the work. I'm taking a breather.  I've opened the door a crack.  I'll let them decide if they want to push the door open and come on in, or pull it shut and walk away.

As soon as I made up mind, I felt like 15 lbs of weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

We arrived at my friend's house ahead of schedule, thanks to un-congested roads and my lead foot.  I was in a much better mood and ready to enjoy the weekend.

After some pre-concert snacks and adult beverages, my friends Heather and Janelle and I headed to a restaurant called Clyde's to have half-price burgers and conversation with our friend Tammy.  I enjoyed seeing my friend Tammy again.  I hadn't seen her since last December.

Then, we went to the concert.  It was an awesome concert.  Colbie Caillat was the opening act and she has an absolutely beautiful voice.  She did an incredible version of The Script's Breakeven and introduced her new song, Brighter than the Sun.

Jason was sporting a new hairdo that made him look creepily like Pauly Shore, but I overlooked that as his music took over.  He has an incredible voice.  I sang. I danced.  I screamed until I was hoarse.  I love at the beginning of concerts when the artist asks "How are you doing?" and everyone yells "woo!".  I think I'm going to start doing that from now on.  Whenever anyone asks me how I am, I'm gonna yell "WOO!"

I got teary-eyed when he did "You and I Both."  I can't explain it but there's just something about that song.  It's about two people who have a lot in common, but for whatever reason were not able to make it work and the realization that even having things in common just isn't enough sometimes.

After the concert, we grabbed some greasy food, ate it at Heather and Jason's and then headed to our motel.  I was absolutely drained and exhausted.  It was close to 2 by the time I fell asleep and we were up bright and early this morning so that we could get back early enough for me to do my weekend chores and get ready for another week of work.

While I was in NoVa, I was exploring the area for the possibility of moving up there.  I've been tinkering with the idea for awhile.  However, I realized it's not for me either.  Too big.  Too congested.  I was in sensory overload with all of the roads, highways, stores, people, cars, etc.  I like a smaller place, a slower pace.

Now, if I can just figure out how to get Jason Mraz to take me on tour with him so that I can soak up his energy and good vibes.  I'm betting no one has a bad day with him hanging around.  He and I could be all about the words together. 

P.S.  This is NOT # 100. But, we're soooooooooooo close.