In the Name of Science

It's poetry in motion
And now she's making love to me
The spheres are in commotion
The elements in harmony
She blinded me with science
She blinded me with science
And hit me with technology

When I'm dancing close to her
Science
I can smell the chemicals
(Blinding me with science)
(Science)
Science

For the past month, I've been conducting an experiment.

If you read my LOVE POTION # 9 blog, then you know that I was recently introduced to "pheromone oil" which allegedly drives men wild.   At first, I scoffed it.

Then, I decided I was curious about it.

So, I bought some.

For the past month, I've been wearing it everywhere.  To work, to the rec center, to the grocery store, to the mall, to the movies, out to eat, to the gas station, at the doctor's office, to take out the trash, to the pool, to dollar tree, to general dollar, to the drugstore, to the farmer's market, to the beach, to the airport, to the liquor store ...  Every day, every place I go.

I've worn it by itself.  I've worn it with my other body spray.  I've dabbed on pulse points.  I've dabbed it on non-pulse points.  I've reapplied it throughout the day.  I've relied on one application. I've considered showering with it, washing my hair with it and adding it to my lotion.

Nothing.  Nada.  Zip.

No response.

I've been exposed to single men, married men, men with significant others, straight men, gay men, straight men who act like gay men, young men, old men, men my age, men too young to date, nice men, not-so-nice men, cute men, average men, men I know, men I don't know...  Co-workers, mechanics, doctors, sales clerks, fast food workers, military, marathon runners, and the ordinary everyday Joe.

I've also been exposed to women, too.  Women who fell into similar categories.

No one has treated me differently.  Men have not seemed more interested.  I have not felt "more confident." Women have not wanted to be my friend.

If it drove anyone wild with lust, no one told me about it.

Even Abby seems immune to it...  and that's disappointing because I figured I'd at least get a couple of wet willies and inappropriate licks from her if no one else jumped at the chance.

Guess all of my worry about how to tell a guy that a little chemistry made him fall for me was for naught.

Oh well...  maybe I'll save it for another time and place.