Time After Time

Lyin' in my bed I hear the clock tick
And think of you
Caught up in circles confusion
Is nothing new
Flashback warm nights
Almost left behind
Suitcase of memories
Time after

Sometimes you picture me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me I can't hear
What you've said
Then you say go slow
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time

Several years ago, while trying to get over someone, I discovered the movie the Lake House.  It stars Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock.  It's about a lonely doctor who rents a lake house to find peace from her life.  She strikes up a relationship with a troubled, lonely architect through letters they leave each other in the mailbox at the lake house.  They fall in love, discovering that they each fill a void in each other's lives.  They also discover that their paths cross several times.  It's a love story about finding a soul mate and destiny.  The twist is that they are living 2 years apart.  She is in 2006.  He is in 2004.  It seems impossible that they will ever meet.  A huge part of the movie is based on events that happen on/around Valentine's Day.  Each Valentine's Day since I discovered the movie, I watch the movie, and daydream about a love that crosses time barriers.  I consider it a modern Somewhere in Time.

I love the whole idea that two people can meet and fall in love through written word and common philosophies.  Two lonely hearts - brought together.  By a house, of all things.  There's also a dog involved but the dog is a minor contributor.  They are two fairly normal, successful and attractive people.  They should have no problem finding someone to love and to love them.  However, there was always something missing that they didn't realize was missing until the moment they met.

I imagine that is how my own love story will be some day.  It won't involve a lake house.  A dog.  Or crossing of space and time.  I wouldn't be opposed to Keanu Reeves but I have a feeling he won't be trolling Virginia Beach anytime soon.  Besides, I fear he'd call me "dude" and I fear I'd be inclined to drop Bill and Ted references, which would spoil the mood.

I digress.  I imagine that my own love story will involve meeting someone who has been looking for me his whole life, without realizing it.  I imagine filling a void he didn't even realize he had until he met me.  My laughter, my heart, my soul, my unwavering support, my unconditional love....  it will lift him up and make him a better man.  He will feel better being with me.  He will discover that his life is more colorful, more meaningful.  Because of me.  He will make me feel things I didn't think I could feel.  He will be a friend, a playmate, a partner in crime, a lover and confidante.  I will champion for him and he will champion for me.  Our lives will be better together.  I will be a better person.  He will be a better person.  He'll have less fear and more hope.  I will have that calm confidence that comes from knowing our meeting was meant to be.

Yes, I'm a romantic.  I've always been a romantic.  In a world of hardened cynics who mock love songs and all things mushy, I hold firm to my beliefs and convictions. Unicorns and glitter all the way.

It will happen.

Today, someone asked me, "Why aren't you seeing someone?"  in a tone of voice that indicated that they were shocked I was single.  I felt flattered.  Most people seem to think I just don't care about those things.

It started innocently enough.  I joked with someone about waiting on my flowers to arrive (it is Valentine's Day, after all.)  Now, there is no one to send me flowers. I really wasn't expecting any.  However, it was fun to joke about it.  My new hires were out of the room and I was all alone, trying to decide if I should go to the gym after work or go pick up a prescription that Rite Aid keeps threatening to cancel out if I don't pick it up soon.  

Someone noticed I was alone and stopped to chat.  While chatting, I made the comment about the flowers.  The person said, "So, are you seeing someone?"  I laughed and said that I was not.  They said, "Why not?  You're a great person."  They added a few other compliments which I thanked them for and then tried to change the subject.

"No, really -- there has to be someone," they said.

I said, "Oh, there is someone."  I just smiled.  This perked the other person up.

"Who is he?"

I just smiled and said that he was out there and would some day find me.

Of course, it wasn't the answer they wanted.  They wanted a name.  Me, too.

I wish I had a crystal ball or some way to know who this person is and when he'll find me.   It's a shame that all of my mushiness is not put to good use.  I feel in my heart, though, that he is out there.  He has to be.  There is someone for everyone, right?  He might already be in my life for all I know, and we just haven't reached our "discovery" moment of that our lives were meant to mingle.

However, until it happens, I will watch the Lake House every Valentine's Day and daydream about the "What If" in life.  I'll cry a little, too, because it's that kind of movie.

Happy Valentine's Day.   Love should be celebrated every day, every way.  However, I think of today as the "birthday" of love and it deserves some special attention.  

Doesn't everyone and everything on their birthday?