Whatta Man

I wanna take a minute or two, and give much respect due
To the man that's made a difference in my world
And although most men are ho's he flows on the down low
Cuz I never heard about him with another girl
But I don't sweat it because it's just pathetic
To let it get me involved in that he said/she said crowd
I know that ain't nobody perfect, I give props to those who deserve it
And believe me y'all, he's worth it
So here's to the future cuz we got through the past
I finally found somebody that can make me laugh
(Ha ha ha) You so crazy
I think I wanna have your baby

I started the day with a headache and ended it with a marriage proposal of sorts.

It started out innocently enough.  A co-worker asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I jokingly said, "A boyfriend."  This was because she and another co-worker had been talking and joking about their boyfriends, how they met, etc.  I was a little jealous.  I've never had a boyfriend on my birthday.

The two co-workers made various suggestions - speed dating, eharmony, match.com, friends of friends.  I quickly rattled off "been there done that" responses and even shared a story of a recent attempt to ask out a friend of a friend who point-blank shot me down after months of leading me on.  Then, one of the co-workers started to name co-workers, who were for various reasons not good choices.  Married, too young, dating someone, old enough to be my dad, etc.  Then, the co-worker shared a "co-workers turned spouses" success story, which, although heart-warming, did not exactly inspire me to hook up with any of her suggestions.

It was funny for awhile, but it also was sort of uncomfortable, especially because one of her suggestions has this habit of cornering single young women in the office and making comments that could be inappropriate.  He reminds me of a friend's dad so I usually just laugh him off.  I know he's harmless.  However, I don't want someone to walk by and hear the joking and think I'm seriously interested in the man.  Awkward.  I spent a large part of my summer convincing other co-workers that I'm not chasing one of my single co-workers and that I'm not his type.

Then, I had a training class and the man my co-worker was suggesting as my soul mate was the sole attendee in the class.  Before I shut the door, he made a comment that people would talk about us being alone in the room.  I asked if he wanted me to keep the door open.  He laughed and made a comment that he enjoyed being alone with me.  Now, I love to flirt.  If he was about 30 years younger, I might be totally flattered and enamored by the attention.  I daydream about the man o' my dreams saying similar things to me.  Then, I dimmed the lights for my presentation and he ooohed and made a comment about being alone in the dark with me.  I laughed and closed my eyes and imagined it was someone who does push my buttons saying the things.

Towards the end of the training, he asked me why I had asked another co-worker to be my fake husband when he was available.  I explained to him that someone had called me about a contest and said I had to be married to claim my prize and that someone else volunteered the other co-worker to be my fake husband to claim the prize.  To this, he said, "I have two ex wives.  Do you want to be number 3?"  I laughed and since we had just talked about credit scores, I asked him what his credit score was and if he could get me a good rate on a mortgage.  I quickly changed the subject and went back to my office.

I shared the news with my co-worker whom said "There you go!  It's fate!"  (sigh)

So, I told my co-worker that he wasn't my type.  She seemed shocked that I have a type.

I know beggars shouldn't be choosers, but I do have a type.  And the guy she keeps teasing me about isn't that type.

She asked me what my type was but I decided that I should probably just keep my mouth shut because I knew exactly who she'd suggest once I told her what I do want in a guy, and I just can't open up that can of worms.

Ah, I think a serial killer who reads my blog and remains unfazed is probably going to be the best route.