You've Got A Friend

When you're down and troubled
and you need a helping hand,
and nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
and soon I will be there
to brighten up even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name,
and you know wherever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah baby
to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
all you got to do is call
and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend.

I watched It's A Wonderful Life last night.  I watch it every time it is on.  (I think I've also referenced it a few times in previous blogs.)  

Depending on my mood, I can watch the entire movie and feel uplifted and joyful about George Bailey's ability to overcome hardship and persevere thanks to hard work, the love of his family and the support of his friends. Then, other times, I see how time and time again, his dreams were thwarted or put on hold so that others could go about their lives and dreams.  Last night, I was all about the latter.  It's on again on Christmas Eve, so maybe then I'll be all about the former.

You see, I was originally going to watch the Adjustment Bureau and be inspired to write a blog about destiny and fate.  Can we change it or are we all just destined to do certain things and our lives are already written?  A very profound subject.  One best had over a few beers, late at night, in a dimly lit room.  

I've mentioned before that I try to live my life without regrets and try to not ask for too many do-overs because I believe everything happens for a reason and that everyone we meet happens for a reason.  We may not immediately see that reason or understand it, but it's there.  Yes, I've also whined lately, though, that I'd like a do-over of recent months, but I have a feeling there will be some big epiphany in the future where I look back and say, "Ah ha!  That's what those months taught me!"  (Hopefully, I'll be sitting  in the bow of some big boat, in the South Pacific, sipping fruity drinks with my chosen cabana boy when it happens.)

I digress.  I forgot that I cancelled HBO last week in an effort to save money so that meant no The Adjustment Bureau. So, I watched It's a Wonderful Life instead. 

One could discuss destiny after watching It's A Wonderful Life.  I always start out feeling sorry for George Bailey.  He had such dreams and aspirations.  He didn't want to be stuck in the small town.  He wanted great things.  I feel a bit of kinship to George.  I was the same way.  I didn't want to stay in the town where I grew up.  I wanted to see the world.  But, then, his father got sick and he took over the bank.  Then, his brother got married, and he stayed with the bank.  The most poignant scene for me, which I didn't totally understand until recently, to be honest, is when he finds himself at Mary Hatch's house and is battling himself.  He's angry that he's there. He's angry that his mother called ahead.  He's angry that he has feelings for Mary.  The phrase "can't fight fate" keeps ringing in my head.  Poor George.  He knew -- he knew at that precise moment that he was never going to leave Bedford Falls.  He knew he was going to marry Mary, settle down and stay there the rest of his life.  He was battling his inner demons and battling the realization that this was his destiny -- not traveling the world.   

In the end, what he got was probably much more fulfilling, but, man, I still feel this twinge of "sympathy" for the old guy.  Couldn't they have at least let him leave and then come back and realize everything he ever needed was right there?  (Like with Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz?)  If I were Mary Hatch, I probably would have spent my life worried that George would be resenting me for taking away his dreams of seeing the world. Worried that he "settled" for me when he could have been with anyone and gone anywhere.  Worried that he felt trapped and voiceless in the relationship.

Then, we get to the whole "wish I hadn't been born" thing.  That part always gets me.  He was just one man.  One man who impacted so many.  I get a little reflective when we get to this part.  I try to wonder what life would be like if I hadn't been born.  Would it have mattered much?  Would someone else have taken my place in all of the things I've done?  I haven't stopped an old pharmacist from killing someone.  I haven't single-handedly saved the family business.  I didn't give my money to my brother to travel the world.

Would there be someone sitting here right now wishing they had someone to help ease the void they feel because I wasn't born?

(sigh)  Sadly, I do not have a beer in my hand and this is not a dimly lit room at the end of a long day.  

In the end, the movie is about friendship, love and realizing that what you think you are destined to be is not what you are truly destined to be.

Makes me wonder what my true destiny is? Or, is this it?  Who is going to show up on my doorstep and get mad at me because I make him want things that go against what he has been telling himself what he wants?

Hopefully, I won't have to jump off of a bridge to find out. (Unless I was jumping to claim that winning lottery ticket that blew out of my hand or something.)