It's A Confidence Thing

Stopped me on the corner
I swear you hit me like a vision
I, I, I wasn’t expecting
But who am I to tell fate where it’s supposed to go with it?
Don’t you blink you might miss it
See we got a right to just love it or leave it
You find it and keep it
Cause it ain’t every day you get the chance to say

Oh, this is how it starts, lighting strikes the heart
It goes off like a gun, brighter than the sun
Oh, it could be the stars, falling from the sky
Shining how we want, brighter than the sun

Confidence is a powerful thing.

If you lose it, you lose a bit of yourself. Not having it can make you feel like crap, make you make careless mistakes, make you say things you don't mean to say and do things you wouldn't normally do.  It's like a snowball effect. Or a ripple in a lake.  You don't realize how much having your self-esteem knicked can affect so many things until you have the opportunity to get it back and realize how powerful it really is.

All you need is something, anything to boost it and it rebounds.  It grows.  It's like a match to your inner pilot light.  Strike the match and poof the inner light grows and grows and spreads warmth through your soul.

My confidence was shaken recently.  My self-esteem took some punches.  I crawled into a hole in my soul and sort of shut out all good things.  Walls went up.  Defenses went up. Mood got wonky. I kind of stopped trusting.  Stopped hoping.  Stopped caring.

Then, recently, a friend... a very intuitive and helpful friend... helped me comb through some things happening in my life and helped reassure me that if I keep my head, keep doing the right thing and keep trusting my own intuition, I should be okay.  She also helped me analyze some vibes/feelings that were confusing me about another person in my life and although she didn't say the exact words I wanted to hear, she did confirm some things I had been thinking and feeling, sensing... and it helps me understand that person and my own reactions to that person better.

It's almost like being told a secret.  A secret that only you know.  A secret that will help you not get crazy trying to figure out if "it's me".  

So, I'm feeling a lot better about things.  My confidence is growing and I am feeling this subtle power inside.  I am not over-analyzing the actions of certain people around me and have sort of adopted this "it is what it is" mentality.  I KNOW who is on my side and I am trusting myself and my inner feelings about those people.  I'm working to build stronger relationships with those people who can be in my corner and be on my side.  I'm also avoiding the toxic people and trusting my inner voice that has been warning me all along to stop giving them second and third chances to hurt me and have negative influence over me.

This little light of mine is burning.  I hope it becomes a wildfire that spreads and spreads. 

I want it to become brighter than the sun.