Day Sixteen

I saw a status update on a co-worker's facebook page about how hard it is to say "no".

This is something I have always struggled with. People, especially employers, have taken advantage of me for years because I fear disappointing them if I say no.

I even did an "audiobook" class once by S. Covey about saying no. He stated to say, "I appreciate the offer/opportunity however at this time I will need to say no." He said to offer no excuses or explanations -- just politely thank the person for asking you to do something and then saying no.. and not wavering.

However, whenever I do this at work (which isn't often), I get cajoled. I get pouts. I get dirty looks. I get the "be a team player" speech.

It's gotten to the point that I feel like I have to get a doctor's excuse or something just to be able to say no to something that I just don't have the time to do... or isn't my responsibility.

I tried the technique today. I'm not sure if it worked. We have someone visiting from another office. He told me today that he needed to get with me asap to "pick my brain" about some procedures. He told me that yesterday and I ended up writing a procedure for him, which he then gave to his boss as his original work. So, today, I told him I had things to do and would get back to him. I avoided him all day.

Then, at the end of the day, he stopped me and said, "Hey, do you have time tomorrow before I leave to get together to go over some procedures?"

I said, "I really appreciate that you value my input but I will be in training all morning and then I have a doctor's appointment at 11:30."

He said, "Oh, maybe you can find a few moments before your doctor's appointment or on your break?"

I said, "I really don't think I'll be taking a break and I can't leave the training room."

He said, "Well, we'll talk again in the morning."

I said OK and he left.

I wanted to feel good about saying no, but I have a sinking feeling he'll still find a way to corner me in the morning.

I posted a note on my monitor that says "NMR" to remind myself that everything is "not my responsibility."

I hope it works.