Rock Star

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I was watching the movie New Year's Eve this afternoon, a Redbox 50% off rental.  It has Josh Duhamel in it.  That alone made me rent it.  Luckily, it didn't cost much because the movie sucked.  I normally like chick flicks but this one did not hold my interest.  The best part of the entire movie was that there was a storyline about a 40something woman who has this list of resolutions she wanted to do before 2011 ended, so she hires a hot bike messenger half her age to help her make the list come true.  He seemed like fun and helped her come out of her shell.  He thought of creative ways to help her cross off her list.

Anyhoo -- Josh Duhamel.  He's on my list of "Five Celebrities I'd Do It With".

There was an episode of FRIENDS back in 1996 where Ross had this laminated list of the celebrities he was "allowed" to have sex with if the opportunity ever arose.  Isabella Rosellini was on his draft but didn't make it to the final list and then he meets her and tries to convince her that she was on his "list".  She has this great comeback about how someone like him was on her original list too, but got cut. I think.  It was 16 years ago.

At the time, my list was quite different.  Mid-90s.  Hmmm...  yeah, I'm sure that there were a few odd choices.  Probably a lot of alternative rock musicians. I think there's a dirty wh*re groupie inside of me some place.

However, I tweaked the list a few years ago, when I was in a quasi-relationship, and that list has kind of stood the test of time.  I created the list to help take my mind of the sucky quasi-relationship.  Everyone has a celebrity they wish would ride in on a white horse, right?  (Guys, if a woman ever asks you this, the answer is, "No, honey, you're all I need.  Sofia Vergas' accent is annoying and I'm sure her breasts are fake." Gals, if a guy ever asks you about a list, deny it.  Fervently.)

Anyhoo, my list.  As of right now.

Josh Duhamel.  He was on that show Las Vegas and some soap opera before that, but I fell in love with him in the movie WIN A DATE WITH TAD HAMILTON.  He's tall, has boyish good looks and seems to be kind of charming.  I remember googling him and finding out he's from the midwest and actually wanted to be a dentist.  Anyway, there's this scene in TAD HAMILTON where he is trying to chop wood with an axe and he takes off his shirt and ....  let's just say that the man has a body.  A nice nice body.  He was placed on my list for the pure lust factor alone.  Then, I discovered he had been a male model at one point and did a series of nude poses. (The link takes you to the nude poses, so if you don't want to see him naked, don't click the link.) They are still circulating on gay men websites.  He appears to be rather endowed.  At least it seems large to me.  It's kind of difficult to tell in a photo.  I'd have to see him in the flesh to know for real. And then have someone else to compare it to.  I'm not entirely sure I remember what the real thing looks like.  He  has stayed on my list because he seems like a genuinely nice guy.  I've seen him on talk shows and aside from being Fergie's (from the Black Eyed Peas) main squeeze, he doesn't like to draw attention to himself.  He is big into charitable events, animals, kids and seems fairly humble.  Man, could you imagine going to the dentist for a root canal and having that walk into the room?

Rick Springfield.  Come on, you knew he'd be on my list.  I've had a crush on him since 7th grade.  He's the epitome of tall, dark and handsome.  And he's a musician.  I admit my adoration of him faltered a little when I read his biography and he admitted to having issues with sexual addiction and cheating on his wife.  I wanted to pretend I hadn't read that.  However, he also freely admitted to having problems with depression, too, something I also battle and it made me feel a kinship with him.  I totally understood the feelings he described.  So, Rick stays on the list for nostalgia purposes.  I'm sure actually doing it with him would ruin the fantasy but I would love to say, "I slept with Rick Springfield!"  Maybe even wear a "Jessie's Girl" nightshirt afterwards.  If I can't have him in my bed, then I'd love it if he could sing at my wedding, if I ever get married. I also like to point out that I've been faithful to him for over 30 years... and if I can be faithful to him for that long, I might actually stand a chance at a real marriage some day. Of course, I'm getting older and the chances that I'll actually be alive for a 30 year marriage get slimmer each year, but hope springs eternal.

Matthew Fox.  I had a crush on him when he was the big brother, the responsible brother, on PARTY OF FIVE.  Then, when LOST appeared on television, I was re-smitten.  Tall, dark, handsome, kind of broody, kind of self-deprecating...  He has this "little boy lost" thing to him where you want to take him in your arms and ask him to tell you everything that is bothering him and then try to help him battle his demons. (Ok, Ok, that was his character "Jack" but since I can't have sex with a fictional character, the actor will have to suffice.)  I have a thing for potentially troubled men.  Not because I want to fix them, but because I've been troubled myself in the past and would love to have a soul mate who understood personal demons, and not getting enough love as a kid, and having daddy issues...  who would turn around and open up his arms to me and let me tell him all of my secrets, too.

Jason Mraz. Not quite so tall or handsome.  Yet, he has this gentle, boy next door spirit.  I do not like his current crunchy granola phase.  I am not a fan of long hair on a man.  Especially long hair that looks better than any wig I could ever buy.  Especially when I can't grow long hair myself.  I fell for Jason when I heard his song "You and I Both" from his WAITING ON MY ROCKET CD.  I think it was 2004ish.  My friend Janelle and I were driving around in her car, here in Virginia, while I was on vacation from Ohio.  I knew his song THE REMEDY.  I hadn't heard the entire CD though.  We listened to it over and over and then she burned it for me to take home for me.  I still have it in my car.  When he sang, "I'm all about them words... over numbers, unencumbered numbered words.. pages, pages, pages forward...", I felt a connection.  I'm all about words, too.  True, his words are song lyrics.  Mine are blog posts, Facebook status updates and the occasional business writing, but WORDS... WORDS are sexy.  I'm all about creativity.  I love a man who can do things with the written word.  Tell me a story.  Write me a poem.  Write me a song.  He's also quite the entertainer.  He can sing the sh*t out of anything --  from Frank Sinatra, to the Beatles, to the Bee Gees to opera.  He also has a fairly upbeat personality and tries to write songs that are positive.  He doesn't write about how depressed he is that a relationship ended.  He writes about what he learned about it and how he became a better person from it.  Oh, and he raps, too.  I love Geek in the Pink.  I've read posts on forums that he's not so nice in real life and has a bit of a temper if things don't go his way, but... I wouldn't expect perfection from anyone.

The #5 slot...  well, this one keeps changing.  The top 4 - locked in.  However, # 5 changes.  It's my wildcard.  Someone funny?  Will Smith or Jimmy Fallon.  Someone mature and sexy?  George Clooney or Harrison Ford or Tom Hanks.  Someone young and sassy? Ryan Gosling or Ryan Reynolds.  Too many choices.  Gerard Butler? Richard Gere? Hugh Grant? Keanu Reeves?

I'd like to think that #5 is being held open for my "real life" leading man -- the person who has a little bit of everything so that he makes # 1-4 pale in comparison.