The Dog Days Are Over

And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

I have no specific theme or purpose for this blog.  I'm in a good mood and wanted to write something while I was in a good mood.  I have three random things to share.

1. I feel energized and happy today.  I went shopping for some new clothing because I had a dream last night that someone at work (a female someone) mocked me and the comfortable, semi-casual way I dress and tossed down a gauntlet that she was going to take away all of "my men" (the safe and the not-so safe).  I woke up feeling frumpy and determined that no woman, especially one who seems fake and superficial and out to use her good looks to get men to be at her beck and call, was going to cast a scornful eye on me.

I've been wearing baggy clothing for years.  I always wear a size bigger than I am.  I guess part of me thinks it makes me blend into the woodwork and not be noticed.  However, now that I've lost some weight, the baggy clothing is baggier than ever.  I'm constantly hoisting my pants up.  A couple of my low-cut tops are practically peekaboo now. 

So, I grabbed a woman's clothing store credit card I have, some coupons for the store and headed there after lunch.  I was delighted to see signs everywhere that proclaimed "take an additional 30-50% off".  I bought several pieces for my wardrobe and now that it's getting warmer and sunnier out, I'm hoping to banish the baggy pants for skirts and dresses.   I also treated myself to some new underwear and a necklace.  I'll have shopper's remorse tomorrow.  However, today, I'm feeling giddy from the purchase.  I can't wait to wear the new things to work.  Hopefully, the pollen count will cooperate and I'll be able to resume wearing make up too.

2.  I've become obsessed with the word "junk".  It all started about a month or two ago when someone mentioned to me that she had gotten a text from someone with a photo of some dude's junk.   I already wrote a blog about that and what I'd do if someone texted me his junk.  

However, I've been thinking about the word "junk".  Why do we use it for the penis?  Why "junk"?  I remember when we called it a "package".  That sounds delightful and positive.  I like receiving packages.  It hints of something special beneath the wrapping.  But, junk?  It sounds negative.  Odd.  However, I've become more aware of junk words.  So, I pondered....  If "junk" is the new term for penis, does that mean that "junk in the trunk" now means "anal sex"?  (If you're putting your junk in someone's trunk (butt), well, you do the math.)  Then, I was watching New Girl and Schmidt texted a photo of his junk to CeCe and called her and said, "Did you get my junk mail?"  That kind of cracked me up.  I've been sharing my junk obsession with a male friend (whom I shall refer to as Junk God) whose mind and sense of humor run pretty parallel to mine.  I asked him, "What would be the female equivalent of junk?"  He just shook his head.  Later, I came up with "junk drawer".  Where do you put your junk?  In a junk drawer.  Since then, I have been on a mission to translate as many junk terms as possible into other things.  My friend has jumped on board and is helping my madness.  I love it. I love him for encouraging my silliness.  Some of the below are his.  Some are mine.

Junk - penis

Junk drawer - vagina

Junk in the trunk - anal sex

Junk mail - texted photo of junk 
Junk dealer - pimp or gigolo

Junk yard - male pubic area (it's what you "groom" like a yard)

Junk yard dog - critter that lives in the junk yard
Junk yard war - um, a ... cock... fight

Junk food - viagra (it "feeds" the junk)

Junked up - aroused, stiff or hard

Junkie - a sex addict or someone who is obsessed with junk

Junk bond - to be attached to someone's junk

Junk removal - sex change or a Lorena Bobbitt moment

I'm also obsessed with junk websites.  Junk-o-rama.  All the junk you ever wanted, all in one place. 

Junkin' 4 Jewels - it's what happens when the junk yard meets up with a bedazzled junk drawer.  Blingety bling bling.

I even found a someecard today about junk:

I'm weird.  But it's fun.  I shared with my co-worker who went out for drinks with me on Friday my little hobby and she said, "You need to get laid!"   That cracked me up.  I said, "No.  I just like thinking up things that relate to junk." I'm glad my male friend gets it.  The little things make the day go so much faster. It's fun to talk about junk and people have no clue we're talking about dirty things.

3.  New recipe for those of you who like to dump things into a bowl and microwave them and be pleasantly surprised by the outcome.  I was craving Mexican a couple of weeks ago and went through my pantry and freezer and came up with the following, which I made again today.  This would be a great Pampered Chef recipe to use one of their microwaveable casserole dishes for.

In a 2 quart microwaveable bowl, mix:

1 pouch of microwaveable pre-cooked brown rice

1 can of drained white beans

1 pouch of low sodium taco seasoning

1 can of white meat chicken

1 jar of queso salsa dip

1 cup of frozen corn

1/4 cup shredded cheese

Mix thoroughly and microwave for approximately 6-8 minutes, until bubbling hot.

I didn't count the # of servings but there's easily enough for 4-6 servings.  Tastes great as a leftover or burrito filling.  I just eat it as is, on a plate or in a bowl, with some baked corn chips crumbled on top.

You can also substitute fat free cream cheese or fat free sour cream for the queso salsa and add some diced tomatoes.

Well, the weekend is almost over.  (sigh)  Guess I'd better get my butt in gear.  I hope this perky feeling continues tomorrow.