Pay It Forward

You don't owe me a thing, I've been there too
Someone once helped me out,
Just the way I'm helping you
If you really want to pay me back,
Here's what you do
Don't let the chain of love end with you

One of my favorite movies is Pay It Forward and I have a bumper sticker on my car that says "Practice Random Acts of Kindness."  I'm not a tree hugger and the only way I eat my granola is formed into the shape of a snack bar.

 However, I do believe in the power of good karma and paying it forward.  

Yesterday, my friend Janelle bought me lunch.  She said she was doing it because someone else had treated her earlier in the week.  Paying it forward.

Today, I donated $5 to the food bank.  It was my small way of paying it forward.

A few years back, I was the recipient of a major dose of holiday Pay It Forward.

It was winter 1996.  I had just moved into my first apartment in Columbus and was having a hard time finding a job.  I was working part time at a housewares store and interviewing like crazy to find a full time job.  I had originally moved to Columbus with a job lined up but the job fell through, else I wouldn't have moved.  I'm not really that much of a risk taker.

However, money was tight.  Things were far more expensive than I thought they'd be.  I was living off of a Sears credit card and watching my savings dwindle.  I would go to Sears and buy gift certificates (these were the days before plastic gift cards) with my credit card, then wait a few days and go back and buy a pair of socks or something inexpensive and get cash for the balance of the gift card. I had A LOT of black socks. A LOT.

I couldn't ask my parents for money.  They didn't have it and even if they did, they wouldn't have lent it to me.  They had been against my move in the first place.  

I do not like to admit failure.  Failure is weakness.  (I think I may have mentioned this before.)  But, there was a part of me that was scared crapless that I was going to have to give up my dream of starting over, starting new in Columbus.

I had enough money to make rent for December 1996 but I did not have enough money to make rent for January 1996.  About two weeks into December, I landed a temp position making $9.00/hr (it seemed like a million bucks) but there was no way I'd have my first paycheck before January rent was due.

I was about to give up and go back to Marietta when I told one of my cyber friends about the issues I was having.

A few days later, I started to get envelopes in the mail.  Envelopes with money in them.  $5, $10, $20....  I felt like Jimmy Stewart at the end of It's A Wonderful Life when everyone shows up to give him money to save his bank.

One of my cyber friends shared my story with my other cyber friends (I had been really active in a friendship forum on CompuServe) and they all pitched in to help me.  One of my closest friends sent me a blank check and a note that told me to "fill in the balance".  By the time January 1 rolled around, I had enough money to pay my rent and utilities for January.  Another friend sent me a book and a crisp brand new $100 bill for Christmas.  I carried that $100 bill around with me for months as a good luck charm and as proof that I was going to be okay.  I thanked everyone over and over and said prayers for such good friends.  These were people who hardly knew me.  I had only met a few of them face to face at the time of such generosity.

One of them told me, when I offered to pay her back, "Look, someone is going to need something some day and you will remember this."  

Fifteen years later, I'm still trying to repay their generosity.  I have a hard time accepting kindness from people.  I feel like I don't deserve it and that there are people who need it more than me.  But, when it happens, I am so grateful.  I feel embarrassed for awhile but then jump in and try to help others so that I don't feel selfish and greedy.

I give cash to people holding "I'm homeless" signs even though a small part of me thinks they probably won't use it for food like they say.  I donate to animal shelters.  I give to food banks.  I toss my loose change into the thing hanging off of the McDonald's drive through window.  I buy cookies from Girl Scouts and give them away to co-workers.  I "round up" when grocery stores offer the ability to "round up" and donate the difference to charity.  I've put money in parking meters for people I don't know. I buy gifts and trinkets for friends just to put smiles on their faces.

I totally believe in paying it forward and thank my friends (some of which are on my Facebook friend list) who helped me realize a dream 15 years ago.

Today, another friend helped me out again.  Not financially.  Spiritually.  She gave me some advice that I really needed to hear and I'm grateful for it.  She didn't have to do it and I will not be able to repay her for it.  But, I am grateful.

Now, it's your turn.  

Whose life will you change with a small act of kindness?