New Life

I will buy you a garden
Where your flowers can bloom
I will buy you a new car
Perfect shiny and new
I will buy you that big house
Way up in the west hills
I will buy you a new life
Yes I will

Around this time last year, I had a dream that these men in suits showed up on my doorstep and told me that they were going to give me a new life.  They couldn't tell me anything about it ahead of time except that it would be better than the life I had.  There was one caveat - I had to be willing to walk out the door with them and leave my current life behind.  I was allowed to bring three personal items from my house/apartment if I accepted their offer.  I woke up before I could make up my mind.  

I took a nap this afternoon and had a similar dream.  Guess my subconscious wanted to give me a second chance. 

In this dream, I was on a game show of some sort and the grand prize, which I won, was $1 million.  But, as with most game shows, there was this twist.  I could take the money and walk away and make of my life whatever I wanted to make of it, leaving the future in Fate's hands. OR... I could give back the money and be "given" the kind of life I wanted -- the kind of job, house, spouse, kids, pets, etc no questions asked.  Guaranteed "perfection" and happiness.  Which did I want?  Money and uncertainty, but total control of my future?  Or, a lifetime of knowing that I had everything I wanted without worry or effort?

Which do you think I chose?

In my dream, I chose the perfect life over the money.  Certainty versus uncertainty.

They asked me what my perfect life consisted of and I told them the following:

• I wanted a huge house in the huge grassy field where the "restaurant" stood in Goonies, facing the water.  (I know this comes from the fact that the new hires and I were talking about favorite 80s movies this week and I told them that ever since I saw Goonies, I wanted to live in that little town, in the Goonie house, and own the Fratelli's restaurant.  Ironically, I googled the town the other day and it actually met my "ideal place to live" requirements.  14 year old me must have been on to something.)
• I wanted all of my bills paid off and $250,000 deposited into my savings account for emergencies.
• I wanted a job teaching Kindergarten in the same school featured in Kindergarten Cop. (Which was filmed in the same town as The Goonies.)
•  I wanted a sailboat and a new car.
•  I wanted a man who loved me as me.

That was all I asked for before I woke up.

After I woke up, I started to think about what I'd really do if presented with this type of offer.

Would I take the money and run? (insert some Steve Miller Band...)

Would I design the perfect life?

Part of me thinks one million dollars (after taxes) won't go very far which means I would probably be wishing I had taken what is behind door # 2.   I've worked hard for over two decades and I don't feel like I've gone very far with my life.  I think back to what I envisioned for myself when I was Goonie age.

I was going to become a writer -- a magazine writer -- and travel the world.  I was going to be fluent in foreign languages and live in penthouse type apartments.  My boyfriends would have exotic names and all look like they walked out of a Soloflex (now Bowflex) commercial.  I didn't own a car.  I had a driver. I was glossy and glamorous.  Plastic and vain.  Superficial.  Heart of ice.

Later, after high school, my perfect life involved becoming a grade school teacher, getting married to someone who was also involved in education, having 2 kids (one boy, one girl.  Michael for the boy. Molly for the girl.) and a nice house in the 'burbs with a yard, pool and swing set.  Maybe a dog and a cat.  I'd be a stay at home mom/volunteer/PTA mom until the kids were school age and then go back to school, teaching in the same district they attended so I could be home when they got home.  Disney vacations, road trips.  Singing in the car.  Mommy and Daddy on the couch, watching movies after the kids went to sleep.  Playing Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy.  I wore comfy dresses and comfy shoes.  I wasn't too fat or too thin.  Huggable and lovable.

After college, I wanted to be some corporate hot shot (Thanks to movies like Baby Boom and Working Girl) who had a fancy office, with an assistant.  I wore tailored suits and told people what to do. I dated the company attorney, had sex in the conference room and worked long hours.  I survived on coffee and coffee.  I was practically anorexic.   Heart of steel.  Nerves of glass.

Later, much later, I decided I wanted to move to the beach, find a job that allowed me to have fun but not kill myself, make friends who would be with me through thick and thin, fall in love with the one guy who got my jokes and who thought of me last thing at night and first thing in the morning.  I wanted a house near the beach.  I wanted a peaceful life with home-grown vegetables, long walks on the beach, picnics, cookouts, sailing with friends.  Bonfires with cold beer and someone playing music on a guitar.  Bundling up in blankets and hoodies.  Laughter.  Building sand castles.  A kid or two.  A pet or two.  A satisfying life filled with love and friendship.

In my life, I've been a grade-school teacher.  I've been a workaholic.  I've moved to the beach.  I've traveled to big cities. I had a cat named Molly.  I've gotten to help play Santa Claus to nieces and nephews. I've never had sex in a conference room.  None of my romantic interests looked like male models.  I do own comfy dresses and comfy shoes.  I have a few really good friends.  I've taken walks (alone) on the beach at both sunrise and sunset.  I've been to Disneyland, but no kids were involved. 

So, what would I put in this "perfect life" now?

My recent dream choices really aren't that far off.  I think I'd take them. I'd live in Goonie-ville.

Except for the teaching piece.  I'd like to substitute a writing job for the teaching job.  I'm burned out teaching people stuff.

I want a Jeep Wrangler, 4-door, limited edition, in white as my car.

As for the house, I want it to have a "pet annex".  I'd have the main house.  Then, attached to the main house via some sort of walk way would be a "pet house", a place where I could shelter cats and dogs together so that they aren't lonely and so that I can take into consideration my poor, poor friends who have animal allergies and can't be in my house with the pets.  (How does that happen?  I have two male friends and both of them are allergic to cats!)  This way, I can still have my animals and keep my friends, too.

As for the man, I think I've described him in great detail during the past year.  But, in case you haven't been reading....  tallish, darkish, boy next doorish.  Funny, smart, talent.....  ok, ok, you know, I'm not going to do this.   The most important thing about him is that he has a open heart and isn't afraid to love me.  Period.

Sounds like a nice life, huh.  

Where is this game show and how do I get on it?