Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be
Now that this adventure called unemployment has ended, I want to pull together some thoughts on this journey to possibly help others who find themselves in the same situation some day.
"Motivated Employee" - If you see an ad for a job that states that they are looking for a self-starter, a motivated employee, or someone with entrepreneurial spirit, it is a sales job. A commission based, no salary, work from home, kill yourself for leads sales job. Almost from day one, I was bombarded with requests for interviews from several insurance companies and financial services companies inviting me to meet with "regional directors" who had "administrator" jobs for me. I nibbled at the apple for one company and then politely rejected the rest. I'm sure that kind of work is good for some but not for me.
"Too Good to Be True" - If the job sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Late in the game, I discovered that several of the job boards I was using (ziprecruiters is one) were actually lead generators and not real jobs. I'd go to the site, read a description for a job that sounded almost like something from my resume and click the "Apply Now" button and provide my basic information and attach a resume. It would say "Company Confidential". Within minutes of hitting send, my text, email and phone were flooded with all sorts of offers for things, but not one job offer or interview. Sadly, most of these job boards have Terms of Service that state they can and will sell your information unless you opt out, but by using their site, you are waiving your right to opt out.
I also got hit with a lot of "work at home" scams that were pyramid schemes or required me to purchase memberships to services and/or pay a processing fee. There were several that wanted me to establish a bank account to process payments or use my home address to receive packages on behalf of a third party. Major Fraud Alert. Don't do it. There was a story on the news here recently about a woman who answered one of those ads to "stuff envelopes" and she was arrested for mail fraud because she was using the USPS to launder money for some foreign company that was defrauding its customers, but her name and address was on the shipping label, so she's the one now left holding the bag.
Careerbuilder provided information to me for reporting scams. If you find yourself victim or possible victim, you should let someone in the internet crimes division know. Email spam@uce.gov or file a complaint at http://www.ic3.gov
Create your own lead list - As soon as I got laid off, I came home and made a long list of all of the companies in this area that I could think of right off of the top of my head. Hospitals, banks, mortgage companies, schools, temp agencies, retail, call centers, collections agencies, delivery services, courier services, law offices, credit unions, non-profit organizations, media, etc
Then, I googled the chambers of commerce for VB and nearby cities, looking for a list of the partners or members to give me leads to smaller companies and businesses I may not know exist.
Drive around and look for the names of businesses near your home.
Go onto the top job boards and read through the ads, writing down company names as you go, whether you are qualified for the job they list or not. That company may have other jobs later that you will be qualified for.
LinkedIn - I reached out to all of my connections on LinkedIn with a very basic message asking them to keep me in mind if they heard of jobs. I also reached out to some of the connections and asked for references and/or recommendations. A lot of companies ask for your LinkedIn profile. Look at your profile from an outsider's perspective. Is your photo professional? Is your job history complete? Do you have a nice solid number of connections over a variety of professions and your career?
Resumes - One resume, even if it is written well, is not enough. I created one resume for administrative type jobs, highlighting those types of jobs in my resume with specific keywords that drew attention to that type of skill. I created one for mortgage servicing, one for education/training, and one general "professional" resume for blind applying to companies for no specific job. I had multiple cover letters, too. Late in the game, when I started to notice that a lot of the big players were rejecting me almost as soon as I hit submit, I realized that a lot of places use software that scans attached resumes for keywords specific to the job. So, to try to get around this, I started to insert the job description for the job I was applying for on a page within my resume. I "inserted" a page and pasted the job description straight from their websites with the header "Application For". I had decided that if they asked why I did that, I was going to say so that I had it for interviewing purposes in case it was taken off of the website. I got fewer rejection notices immediately after hitting send once I started to do that. I figured that if they were using a scanning program, then their own words would get flagged and I'd at least get into the review stage.
Social Media - I tried to curtail the amount of negative posts and anything that could be construed as negative, immature, unprofessional, etc on my social media accounts. My wall is private but that doesn't mean that it is 100% private. Let's say you and I are friends. I apply for a job for a company and you happen to have friends who work at that company. I go to your wall and post all kinds of crazy shit or tag you in photos. That can be seen by these other people who can go back and say, "Man, what a downer that chick is! Oh, and she LOOOOOVES her selfies." I try to take the approach that if the President of a company I want to work at looked at my wall, what would he/she see and would it embarrass me? I have my settings such that only certain people can see all of my wall and I do frequent "clean ups" where I look at my profile from a third party perspective and delete comments and posts. I'm also not shy about deleting comments other people make and removing tagged items. My wall. My rules.
Coupons and Budget - Money becomes a cherished commodity when you don't have a job. I made sure that I had a budget of what I could spend each week if I wanted to. I made sure to look for coupons and deals and stick to that budget as much as possible. Gift cards were worth their weight in gold. A few friends gave me Visa gift cards and Target gift cards for my birthday and I was able to use them to buy groceries and household items.
Dollar Tree - I became a fan of dollar store shopping. Bread, frozen veggies, milk, eggs, cheese, toilet paper, paper towels, kleenex, pain medicine, vitamins, dish liquid, fabric softener, batteries, cream cheese, bagels, cat treats, and Qtips are just some of the things I bought there. Why go pay top dollar for brand names when the generic version works just as well. You can get pretty creative using dollar tree groceries. They sell name brand canned foods and dry goods, too.
Routine - Try to keep to a routine as much as possible. When I first got laid off, I got up early every day, went to bed pretty close to my "normal" time and tried to keep moving forward just like I still had a job each day. Then, as time went on, I slipped. I started sleeping in later and staying up later. I'd take naps. I'd sit and play games or surf the internet for hours before bedtime. I stopped eating at regular times. It totally messed up my body.
Journal - Even if you are not a journal/writer type, keep one just to have a record of what you've done. My journal contains bank balances, places I went, jobs I applied for, people I talked to, connections attempted, social activities, moods, dreams, goals, to-dos, dreams, wishes, medical issues, appointments, etc It is a day by day account of every bit of minutia from the past 4 months.
Self Care - Don't neglect yourself and your needs. I made appointments at the dentist, eye doctor and family doctor to help keep myself in check. I got a pedicure for my birthday and again for Christmas. I got a haircut and eyebrow wax for the new year. I took my medications and vitamins and tried to drink as much water as I can and not slip into bad eating habits. I actually ate more fresh fruit and veggies while I was unemployed than I had for the three months leading up to my unemployment. I saved loose change and kept to my budget to make it possible to do these things. Other than the sleep thing and the random bouts of depression/dark stuff, I worked hard to not totally sabotage myself. I wish I had gotten more exercise, though. I just don't like it on a good day and eventhough I had plenty of time to do it, it just wasn't a priority to me.
Side jobs and part time work - I was applying for just about everything so it really annoyed me when people would say, "Well, there's always Walmart!" No. I applied. They never called. However, if you become unemployed, take a moment to read everything on their website about jobs. In my mind, I thought I could supplement my unemployment with a part time job or side job. No. It doesn't work that way. I'm glad I figured it out before it was too late. If you make more than your weekly benefit, you don't get your weekly benefit, so it becomes a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. I was receiving $300 a week. That is roughly the equivalent of working 40 hours at minimum wage. So, if I took on any kind of job and my gross income for the week was over $300, I didn't get a benefit payment that week. If it was less than $300, they subtract that amount PLUS $50 from your benefit, so you actually end up hurting yourself if you do any sort of part time work. Even if it is one hour of work, you have to report it because they do audits where they check the IRS database for reported hours and new employees and compare it to their own database. If you take a full time job making less than what you were making before on a temporary or contract basis and it doesn't work out and you try to resume your unemployment benefits, IF they resume, it will be based on what you made at the contract/temp job and NOT at what you were making before, so now you may receive even fewer dollars per week. It's a very touchy balancing act. You want to work but you need steady money, too.
Keep busy - Volunteer, hobbies, etc The more time I spent with myself, the harder it was to motivate myself to leave the house. I tried to make myself leave for a few minutes each day, even if it was just to take out the trash or check the mail.
Keep hope alive - I can attest to how hard it is to keep motivated when you don't have something to get up for. Every day, though, I did take the time to thank my lucky stars for the good friends I did have, the food I had, for Abby, for being alive. I didn't purposely set out each day to have a bad day, to piss off someone, to test the boundaries of friendships and to cry myself to sleep. I started each day with a thank you and a prayer for a good day. I had my to-do lists and goals and worked like the engine that could to make strides towards a better future. Not every day was a good day, but not every day was a bad day either. Find the things that bring you joy and make sure you surround yourself with them.
For me, it was listening to music and watching television. I had to stay away from the social media sites for long periods of time because the newsfeeds were just so negative. I became super aware of just how many bad things people post on a regular basis. Critical things. I'm sure most people don't even realize they are doing it. I became aware that I did it, too, and I stopped. If I couldn't say something funny or positive or "neutral" in a comment, then I didn't comment. Far too many people are quick to point out the negatives or the "what ifs". I already had my own head doing that to me at night, I didn't need it on my Facebook wall, too. We've become a cynical, critical, negative nation and I don't want that poison in my blood. I don't. You shouldn't either. When you post something, pause and ask yourself, "Is there something else, something positive I can say?" If not, save it. Everyone has an asshole and an opinion. I don't want to see your asshole, so maybe I don't want to read your opinion either, especially if it's critical or negative. Sarcasm may be funny but it is rooted in negativity. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want people to leave me feeling like I built them up, not tore them down.
Now, the biggest thing I've learned - rely on yourself. No one is going to give you a job, pay your bills, hold your hand when you are sad, and give you the guest room in their house. No matter how much you want it to be that way, it's just not going to happen. I've been pretty self sufficient my whole life because I don't trust anyone to really be there for me. I can count on all of my fingers and toes the number of times someone has let me down, disappointed me, chosen something or someone else over me, cancelled plans, and/or put me in the corner. Nobody puts Bevy in the corner and I've just come to accept that I have to take care of me. I can't wait around on someone else. All of the best intentions, promises and prayers have the capability of just falling apart. So, I rely on me. I am going to make my life better. Oh, it's gravy if the good things come too - like people who send cash and gift cards and who offer to move you into a friend's garage. But, you may not get the gravy. Be ready for it. Have an exit strategy of some sort, especially if you were like me and had no safety net. It may sound pessimistic and contradictory to the comments I've made above. I consider it a realist's advice. Things go to crap sometimes. You have to be ready for it. Then, you can go back to being suzy sunshine.
I got what I wanted
Now I don't want anything
Yeah, I got what I wanted
Now my life is just boring 'til
Now I don't want anything
Yeah, I got what I wanted
Now my life is just boring 'til
Everything falls apart
Then I get to try to
Put it back together
Then I get to try to
Put it back together
Everything falls apart
And you can count on
That, you can count on bad
Bad weather this year
And you can count on
That, you can count on bad
Bad weather this year
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