Dare Me

Put up your dukes, let's get down to it!
Hit Me With Your Best Shot!
Why Don't You Hit Me With Your Best Shot!
Hit Me With Your Best Shot!
Fire Away!

I've mentioned before that I have a younger brother.

Growing up, we were always antagonizing each other and daring each other to do things.  We were always getting into trouble, too.  "Who dug that big hole in the back yard?" "Why did you shoot your brother in the head with a BB Gun?" "Seriously, who put the crayons in the furnace register vent?" "Why do you not have any bangs?  Who cut your hair off?"

I'm not really one to take risks.  At least, not risks that I don't stand some sort of chance of being successful.  I'm not foolish.  I'm definitely a list maker.  A pro and con list maker.  I've even made pros and cons lists about men I was dating to decide if I should continue dating them.  I worry about just about everything.  My middle name should be "what if?".  When I don't weigh my options, my middle name turns to "Can't Get Right."

However, there's just something about a dare.  I know I shouldn't do it.  I know I should say no.  But, as soon as someone says, "I dare you...", my eyes twinkle and I get excited.  Do I do it?  Do I say no?  Will they like me more if I do it?  Will I shock them?  Will I be their hero?

When I was in the 1st grade, someone dared me to lick the bottom of my shoe.  It's gross.  I know.  Please don't judge.  But, I did it.  I immediately went to the water fountain and rinsed out my mouth, but I didn't want to be seen as a wuss, as a wimp.

I've been dared to flash people, spy on college classmates, send secret admirer notes, and do assorted silly things. Lick foreheads. Let a guy take a picture of me in a bra.  THAT one is majorly regrettable. I wish I had passed on that dare.  Or kept the photo.

I actually enjoy the dare.  Mostly because of the outcome.  I love that look of shock.  I guess I don't look like someone who would take a dare.  I guess it's my innocent girl-next-door good looks and bashful blush. 

Now, I won't do anything illegal.... or unethical... or cruel.  I also won't do anything that will cause harm to myself or another person.  So, I'm careful in which dares I actually jump at, but, man, I love a challenge. I also won't do anything that I risk getting my heart broken or my feelings hurt.  7 minutes in heaven or spin the bottle?  Not for me.

I also like daring people too.  I love when people get involved and respond.  It totally tickles my fancy when someone takes my dare. It shows a playful spirit and makes me wonder just what else they'd be willing to do.  (What would they do for a Klondike bar?)

I think I need to have a slumber party so we can all play a good game of truth or dare.  I haven't played that since I was 10.  I imagine it could be way more interesting as an adult.  

Especially if alcohol and members of the opposite sex are involved. :)

Just don't ask to see me in a bra.  That ship has sailed my friends.  And the photo is somewhere in Albany.

Silliness To the Rescue

I want to be the one to walk in the sun

Oh girls they want to have fun

Oh girls just want to have

That's all they really want

Some fun

When the working day is done

Girls - they want to have fun

Oh girls just want to have fun,

They want to have fun,

They want to have fun...

I am a child at heart.  I love anything that tickles my fancy and makes me giggle.  Most days I can find something humorous in some of the most mundane things, as evidenced in my frequent observational status updates on Facebook.  You just have to keep your eyes open and be ready for anything.

Today, my friend Janelle and I went to see Contagion.  That in itself was not funny.  However, every time someone in the movie theater coughed, I giggled a little on the inside.  I also watched everyone make a beeline for the restroom and wash their hands furiously.  Ahhhh, nothing like the fear of germs to generate some hysteria.  I bet anti-bacterial company stock goes up.  There was plenty of product placement for Purell.

Before the movie, Janelle and I went to Books A Million, near the movie theater, to kill time.  For some reason, we stopped in the HUMOR aisle.  Normally, I make haste to the romances or new fiction.  I rarely stop in the humor aisle.  I highly recommend it.

Janelle did a dramatic reading of Go the F**k to Sleep and I realized that if I had kids, I'd probably write a similar book.  I laughed and laughed.  There's just something about seeing and hearing the "F" word in a children's book type setting.  Click on the book title and enjoy Samuel Jackson reading the book.  SO funny.

Then, I discovered a book called Crap At My Parents' House.  I kept laughing and giggling over the captions.  My parents had some of the stuff in the book.  I found a website about the stuff and they are on Facebook.  I thought about buying the book just to have it at my desk at work for when I have a bad day.

Then, I dramatically read some of Jimmy Fallon's THANK YOU NOTES to Janelle as she read to me tips from THE SEXY BOOK OF SEXY SEX. I learned more than I needed to know about ... um.. pube scaping.  Yeah, it's exactly what you think it might be.  

I oohed and aahed over the plethora of zombie-related books and wished that PAT THE ZOMBIE wasn't sealed.  (Remember PAT THE BUNNY?)

We eventually moved onto calendars, mocking one about the upcoming apocalypse in 2012.  I jokingly said that if I designed a calendar about the apocalypse, I'd have it end on 12/21/2012.  The calendar was sealed so we couldn't see if it ended as abruptly as the world is expected to.

Janelle wanted to look at magazines and I noticed some comfy chairs.  Two were occupied.  One was not.  I sat down in one next to some guy reading what looked like a "graphic novel" (bookspeak for an over-priced comic book).  To make him nervous, I kept glancing over at his book as he tried to read.  He leaned away from me and started to hunch over the pages.  I leaned a little more.  He turned and gave me an evil look.  I smiled, straightened up and updated my Facebook status with the event.  As I typed (or tried to type - making sure I don't accidentally call people like I did last night... sheesh...), I'd glance at him and then back down at my phone like I was documenting his behavior.  Fearful that he'd report me to the sales clerk and get me kicked out, I got up and wandered around the toys section.  

We eventually left and then went to the movie.

Every now and then, I need to have some comic release.  The laughter generates this oxygenated perky feeling and everything is right in the world. 

Like bantering on Facebook with Janelle about the sexual benefits of a toothless man... or bantering on Facebook with Janelle about my encounter with a random IMer on Yahoo Messenger ... or bantering with my co-worker Gordon about whatever strikes me/him as amusing at the time... or shocking co-workers in a training class by admitting that I knew all of the words to the Humpty Dance...  aaaah, good times.

I think the world would be a happier place if we all could find our inner child and just go have fun.

I dare you to do it.  I'm on a mission to have more fun and encourage others to have more fun.

• Read something as if it's dirty (as in "sexual").  That's super fun.  Just about anything can be made to sound dirty if you read it the right way.  
• Play with a toy.  (A real toy, not a sex toy, although that can be fun, too.)  
• Buy a happy meal.  Keep the toy.  
• Listen to fun music like THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS.  
• Do some You Tube Roulette.  
• Go to www.stumbleupon.com and check out random websites.  
• Think of unique things for your Facebook status.   
• Invite your friends to make up your Facebook status.  
• Google Jack Handey.   
• Write your own "Deep Thoughts".  
• Go to the SPCA and play with the animals.  
• Go to an arcade and play skeeball.  (My personal favorite.)  I'd start a Skeeball league if I could.  
• Eat ice cream for breakfast.
• Watch cartoons.  The ones for kids.
• Sit and people-watch.
• Google Kids in The Hall's "Crushing Your Head" and do it to people at work or in airports or at the train station.
• Make up stories in your head about people you see on the street, in the store, or in the car next to you.
• Say "wiki wiki wiki" in random conversations.
• Give yourself a rapper name, stripper name and porn star name.
• Google Dennis Quaid on the Ellen Degeneres talk show.  "Dennis Quaid is here!"  Talk about yourself in third person.
• Splash in puddles.
• Blow some bubbles.
• Offer someone a hug. (Someone you know.  Decrease the creep factor.)
• Watch videos on www.wyotk.com.  I suggest "What we say wrong" and "Hugs and Kisses".

Life is too short to take it seriously.  You don't get out of it alive so you must make the most of it while you are here.

ABCs ... of Me

A B C , Its easy as
1 2 3 , as simple as
do re mi, A B C, 1 2 3
baby you and me girl

When I taught elementary school, one of the things we used to have the kids do to help them with adjectives was to make a list of adjectives, descriptive phrases and words that described them, what was important to them, etc. using each letter of the alphabet.  They could decorate the list however they wanted, using clippings from magazines.  It was a fun thing to do and it helped promote positive self-esteem and creativity, too.

I dare you to do it sometime.  It can be kind of fun to think of words and phrases uniquely "yours" for each letter of the alphabet.

To take a break from the semi-heavy topics of recent days, here's my list!

A Autumn-loving B Bashful (sometimes) C Careful D Demonstrative E Eager to please F Friendly G Generous H Halloween-loving I Imaginative J Joking K Kitchen-savvy L Loving M Music-loving N Nice O Optimistic P Pet-lover Q Quirky R Romantic S Sarcastic Sense of Humor T Tempted U Understanding V Valuable W Writer X eXuberant Y Yearning Z Zaftig

True Colors

don't be discouraged
oh I realize
it's hard to take courage
in a world full of people
you can lose sight of it all
and the darkness inside you
can make you fell so small

But I see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why I love you
so don't be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are beautiful
like a rainbow 

On Friday, at work, one of my co-workers asked me if I had any games or ice breakers that she could use with the new hires to wrap up the day after they finished a test. I quickly got online and did a search for "fun personality tests".  One came up about favorite colors.  It seemed safe enough.   Then, she asked me if I wanted to participate.

I was done with all of my planning and prepping for next week so I decided what the heck.  I could use a break.  I hadn't had any fun distractions lately.  I was starting to wish for a hurricane so that I could entice a co-worker to talk about his lawn chair, beef jerky and nuts again.

Now, keep in mind, it was a silly little personality test.  Yanked from some website.  Probably not even based on anything scientific.  But, it was meant to be fun -- not a psychological assessment.

My female co-worker said that her color nailed her.  It kind of surprised me because I've worked with her for a year and I learned things about her that I didn't know.  It was very eye-opening to see how she perceived herself in comparison with the color she picked.  I would have picked a totally different color for her.

My favorite color is pink.  The description made me sound like a fluffy, glass half full type who wants to join hands with everyone and sing songs of peace.  Said I was nice.  I keep getting told I'm too nice, like it's a bad thing.  I take pride in being nice.  I'm no pushover.  I have a spine.  If you push my buttons, I'll fight, fight, fight.  I ain't no hollaback girl. But, there's nothing wrong with being nice.  I'm a nice person.  Deal with it. My second favorite color is red.  That said I was passionate, energetic, sexy and that I crave attention.  Three out of four ain't bad. :)

My male co-worker said that his color was pretty dead on, too, which surprised me because it made him out to be moody and fussy.  I don't know many men who will admit to being moody and fussy.  I wasn't surprised, however.  In fact, before we even picked colors, I read through the descriptions and I had already picked the color he picked for himself because I've sensed different moods in him in the past. I've noticed the mornings when he came in and sort of hunkered over in his desk, occasionally sighing or muttering under his breath, clutching the caffeine like it was a drug. (Oh, wait, I think it is.)  I also noticed when he came in smiling and friendly and open to chit chat and occasional humorous banter.  I reacted to each mood accordingly.

He mentioned that he has this ability to read people and get a sense of their moods and feelings and tends to steer clear of negative feelings and moods and that he just goes off on his own instead of being brought down by those people.  Yes, I know I'm sharing a fair bit of information about him, but I feel about 99% confident that he doesn't read my blog and if he does, he always tells me that he doesn't censor himself... and when I've voiced concern in the past about the kinds of stuff I write about, he's given me the "aw, screw it, write what you want" advice.  I hope he still believes in that.

After he was so open about himself, I almost wanted to re-evaluate my own color.  I tend to do the latter myself.  I work with a lot of different kinds of people who all have different moods, motivators and agendas.  Some are clock-punchers.  Some are drama-queens.  Some are negative nellies.  Some are confusing cleos.  I start the day in a great mood, but at some point, someone will try to ruin it for me.  Sometimes, they win.

When I get to work, I always have to feel people out to see what kind of mood they are in and then try to adjust accordingly.  I can usually tell by the way a person says good morning or the way they hold their bodies if they are in a good mood or not.  I always hope for the best.  Hope for a nice pleasant good morning and open body language.  This is not always the case.  I always try to greet everyone with a cheery good morning or some sort of positive comment.  Nice shirt. Love that dress. Those shoes are cute. 

Instead of taking my co-worker's approach and just avoiding the negative people, most of the time, I tend to feel the need to put on my floppy shoes and big red nose (must be the pink in me who wants everyone to be happy) and try to make them feel better.  Some days, it's a challenge, to be honest.  Some people just seem to want to wallow in unhappiness.  Then, after I don't succeed, I feel myself slipping to their level.  I get sad and depressed.  I can't wait to come home where I can shake it off, enjoy some unconditional kitty cat love, watch some tv, play on the computer and engage in banter with people on my PT job.

I've had days myself recently when it was all I could do to get out of bed because of issues I've been having and I know I wanted people to rally around me and try to make me feel better.  Sadly, I noticed that more people tended to want to encourage the stinking thinking and "woe is me" attitude than to tell me to buck up and get over it. (Politely, of course.  I'd probably slug someone if they told me to get over it while I was thinking of jumping off of a bridge.)  What I really wanted was someone to notice and ask what was going on, but no one did.  No, I take it back.  One person did and then didn't wait on my response.  They launched into a tirade about their own bad day.

Now, back to the male co-worker.

We haven't had much time to talk lately but when we have encountered each other, I've felt a little like our vibe is off.  So, my "true color" has been working in over-drive, trying to be funny, get him to "play", trying to engage him in conversation, seeking him out to try to share light-hearted stuff... and just being there in case he wanted someone to talk to.  Being available and open and trying to give off positive energy. Trying to find humorous things to post on FB in case he saw them and wanted to let off steam after work. And hoping he hasn't blocked/hidden my FB Wall postings because I enjoy his sarcastic irreverent humor. As strange as it sounds and despite the fact we've only known each other a few months, he "gets" the things I'm alluding to in posts and jokes.  That's rare.  My closest friends are the ones who have been able to "get" the craziness I spew... and it took them awhile to figure it out. :)

Maybe I'm the one in a weird mood and that what I'm feeling is his mood's adjustment to my mood.  I feel awkward and I fear being too friendly.  Too funny.  Too annoying. Trying too hard to be a friend.  I worry about people.  If I can't draw them out, then I think that there must be something wrong with me. 

So, now, I'm leaning more towards his color than mine.  I want to withdraw and just wait it out.  But, then, my color kicks back in and I want everyone to be happy and perky.  I treat him like I treat all of my other friends and they tend to respond positively to my banter, jesting, teasing and joking when they are in bad moods. It's a cruel double-edged sword.  If I pull back because I think he wants me to pull back and then he pulls back because I pulled back, then neither one of us will ever talk (and by "talk", I mean the non work-related joking, teasing, conversation and/or private jokes) to each other ever again. :P  If I continue to push perkiness, then I look like some manic clown.

I've always prided myself on my ability to read my friends -- to gauge their emotions and needs.  I'm the person with all sorts of goodies in her desk to try to meet whatever need there might be.  Candy?  Got it.  Band-aid? Got it.  Joke? Got it.  Shoulder? Got it. Space?  Space? Um... tell me what's wrong and you can have your space.  (I know, contradictory to my "undatable" blog where I admit myself to wanting a lot of space on occasion.)

I haven't had much luck reading men, though.  So, therein lies the rub.  A male friend.  He's a guy.  He has guy emotions and guy needs.  I usually am pretty successful with male friends because I usually have the same no bullsh*t attitude that they have.  But, he isn't the typical guy, either.  He actually admitted to being moody.

Hmmmm, a lot of deep thoughts over one ice breaker, eh?  Time to trod back into shallower water.

Back to my favorite color, pink.

There's just something innocent and sweet about pink.  I always think of pink as red's little sister.  Softer, gentler.  I think of cotton candy, lip gloss and that cloying "Love's Baby Soft" perfume I wore all through junior high.

I love my pink sheets and pink night gown.  I even have a pink robe and pink slippers.  (And yes, pink underwear, since we're going there.)   I know I mentioned in my "Miss Independent" blog that I come off harsh sometimes.  I think my affection for pink is my way of showing everyone and myself that I do have a softer side.  

I am a girl, after all.